Welcome to my brain bitches

need to get this off my chest part 1

Okay so, I'm transgender. Female to male. That's not all, I need to come to terms with these things and own up to them. Transgender people have a gender identity or gender expression that differs from their sex assigned at birth. Some transgender people who desire medical assistance to transition from one sex to another identify as transsexual. And because of this, I have major gender dysphoria. Which is the condition of feeling one's emotional and psychological identity as male or female to be opposite to one's biological sex. It's actually really fricken bad and it makes simple tasks such as showering a pain the ass. Shit I can't do this.  yes I can. Shit ahh this is scary, i'm scared. Okay ahh. So, I was born female and with all the female parts, but that just doesn't sit well with me. Her/She pronouns don't aren't my thing. They sound weird, it feels weird being called that. My pronouns are He/Him. But if that makes you uncomfortable then they/them. This is a lot to take in, it is scary being trans and actually non binary because a lot of people don't like that. They don't understand, so that makes them mad. And they take it out on us, for not fitting into the "norm" or following what they grew up learning. And not only that, they go as far as to kill trans people. So, while I hate looking this feminine, it helps until I get my binder. (which I did get, I got it from this free binder program, it helps all trans people, questioning people, non binary people anyone else, my mind is just blanking.) So, that's a big part of what I needed to talk about. But the other thing is really hard for me to come to terms with, but it's a part of me. It makes me who I am. My mental illnesses. Yes that word. Oh good. So, as some of you may known, I suffer from really bad depression and anxiety and I suffer from suicidal thoughts. I got diagnosed with depression from a very young age, I was in third grade. My therapist that I was seeing at the time noticed with how I answered a couple of her questions, that something was off. I got officially diagnosed with severe anxiety in 7th/8th grade. My therapist (different one) gave me a couple books to help pinpoint what type(s) of anxiety I could have. But I'm not going to list them. 

So yeah, that's me, uhm i'm really opening up and this kinda scares me, but I've got to stop being a closed book all the time. Sooo take that information as you will...bye