Adrift

13

Aoi Ishiki

My heavy arms slump down together with my sigh. The sweat that's sliding off my forehead lands its way inside my eyes. It immediately leaves a burning sensation. I stop walking in the middle of the street and rub the pain off.

After a few rubs, I try to blink a few times. Still, I have to squint my eyes because of the glaring sunlight. Red patches surround my yellowish pale arms. Maybe I should have listened to Momo when she said that I should wear sunblock.

When I look at the tree beside the pavement, it blurs and doubles in my vision. Damn it! This means I'm getting weak from not eating. Not that it was a choice. My brother Eiji's salary is delayed, so that means any chance of spending will not happen.

Walking around under the heat at three in the afternoon is not a good idea. Still, if I try to hurry, then I might get there on time. I take another few steps only to end up tripping because of my wobbly legs. The sweat that's soaking my shirt becomes icy cold. Please, tell me this is not happening to me. This is not my first time, but it feels like hell. My head is so light that I think a feather replaced my brain. 

I bend down and hug my knees. Inhale, exhale, and repeat. A few passersby crane their necks to look at me. They probably notice my state. From the corner of my right eye. I can see a glowing signage of a convenience store.

Back in the days in our old hometown, we would gather by our next door's kitchen window. Trying our best to fill our stomachs with the smell of their food. Now, we can't really do that since we don't have neighbors anymore. That's my plan now.

I muster up all my remaining strength and proceed to the store. A gush of cold air greets me by the entrance and raises the hairs on my skin. My hands try to rub it out of my arms, but it doesn't stop my whole body from shaking. My teeth chatters and my lips quiver.

"On your way to practice?" Someone from behind asks me. I turn around and see a guy wearing the store's uniform. The rectangular pin on his collar shows his name. Tatsuya Ishiguro. His gaze is making my stomach grumble.

"Huh?" I mumble then I realized he meant the festival practice. "Oh! Uhm... yes." I try to recover my response. He presses the back of his hand towards my forehead.

"You have a fever," he tells me. I widen my eyes and straighten my back.

"That's just the heat from the sun!" I try to reason out.

"We have cooling sheets for fevers." He points at the rack beside me.

"I don't have money," I whisper.

Tatsuya leaves me and enters the staff room. I proceed to where the hotdogs are stored. My nostrils flare up and sniff. The intoxicating smell leaves me off balance. Luckily, I regain it myself.

To my surprise, a hand slaps a packet of cooling sheets to my shoulder. I look at Tatsuya and see that he's already changed his shirt. What is he? The flash? Perhaps, I was too slow when I was walking towards this section.

"Are you hungry?" he asks. I shake my head however he sees through my lie and tucks the sheet inside my pocket. "Don't worry, I already paid for that. Grab a seat at the corner. I'll get you food."

"No way!" I protest.

Just like that, he grabs a tong and takes out a steamed bun. I stare at it and feel my mouth moistening. Aware that my lie is obvious, I obey him immediately and find myself a seat. He hands me the bun and scoots beside me. I devour the whole bun like a ravenous dog in a few seconds. My head collapses on the table after I eat. He folds his arm on the table and places his chin on it. His eyes peer at me.

"I saw lots of second years in the wake but I didn't see you," he says.

Did he go to Yamada's wake? Were they close? I scratch my right cheek as I respond, "I can't afford to buy appropriate clothes and give an offering."

He mumbles something but I cannot make out what he said.

"Plus, I've only met him a few days. I don't count as a close friend," I add.

"I went there on behalf of my brother. He's in the hospital," His voice lowers down in pitch. I bow my head down and apologize for his brother's state.

"Yamada and my brother ended up that way because of bad decisions. The people who made those decisions, however, don't regret them." He closes his eyes after saying this. This way, he looks a little less strange and a bit approachable. It makes me want to reach out and touch his hair. I remember what he just said and furrow my eyebrows.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Yakuza won't just bully a random student, would they?"

Technically, they're not part of the yakuza yet. Not really nope but still the young trainees and members usually do random havoc. Sometimes, these things are done in lieu of their older brother's command. However, what would they even get from Yamada? What made him their favorite dummy?

"No, they won't," I say with a frown.

"Do you want to know the truth?" he asks as he opens his eyes and looks at me.

"It's none of my business," I tell him. 

Well, I don't really believe what I just said. My nosy nature wants to know what happened. It concerns me that I'm the most affected. Chigusa is relaxed and quiet about it. Hatsumomo only cares to talk about what to do in the upcoming festival. The other classmates act like another normal day just passed by. I don't understand it at all.

Yamada's death made me more aware of Tomo. Every time I'm alone in my room, Tomo is there at the corner, staring at me.

"Poor Mamoru, no one really cared about him," he mutters as he checks the time from his wristwatch. 

I slam my fist on the table and stand up. "That's not true!" I shout at him.

"Chigusa baited Yamada and my brother to a red light business to save her stupid girl. The rescue didn't go well and left Yamada as a permanent target and my brother as a vegetable. Tell me, Ishiki-san. Isn't it only justified for me to feel angry and want to teach everyone involved a lesson?" He berates back. His hand grips my wrist. For the first time, I can see his eyes change to a glowering glare. I wished I didn't eat what he gave me. If only I wasn't that hungry.

"Why would I believe that?" I take my wrist off from his grasp. He lets out a laugh and runs a hand on his hair.

 "You can go ask Chigusa and his friends." He replied with an indignant tone. We stare at each other for a few seconds in silence.

He takes out a deep breath and starts again, "Look, I didn't want to get angry at you or pin you the responsibility. I just want justice on what they did to my brother."

"What do you want to happen Tatsuya?" I ask with a raised eyebrow.

"For us to teach them a lesson."

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