Forgiveness and Punishment

48

Melissa proceeds with her plan and little by little Karen is shaped into the assassin she so desperately wanted to become, just not in the way she wanted to learn. She is taken nearly to death many times over the course of the next few years. 

Only once she bound herself to Melissa was she allowed out of the cells. But if she thought the pain would be eased by doing that she was sadly mistaken. Her training was nearly as vicious once she was released as it was as a prisoner. But she learned and she learned to do so rapidly to keep from repeating any of the lessons.

She learned to hone her response time to be faster than she ever thought possible. And still she wasn't fast enough, she did learn to block most of the hits, but she couldn't ever get them all. Always after a sparring match, Karen would need healing.

Even Timothy's vampire children that came over with him helped in her training. They are the most vicious and deadly of the fighters in that seethe. More than once she nearly died from one of them losing control and only Timothy being there to control them stopped them from killing her.

She learned to put up with their sneers and disgusted looks. She knows that she deserves them after nearly killing her mistress. She realizes just how wrong she was now, but her lesson was learned too late. None of the vampires will ever forgive her for what she did. 

She does her best to stay out of Travis's path as much as possible. She dreads each time he is her teacher because she knows that he will take out his anger and pain on her, even though Melissa had another child of his.

"I know, there is nothing I can say or do to earn your forgiveness, but I am more sorry than you will ever know for what I did to you and Mistress." She isn't allowed to call Melissa by her name like the other were always allowed to do. She knows that she will never gain the forgiveness necessary to gain that right. She would hang her head in submission, but as long as he is teaching her it is dangerous to take her eyes off of him even for a second.

Travis gives her a grim sneer, "At least you know that much, bitch." Travis has never called her by name, nor does he intend to do so any time soon.

"You will never be fully accepted here."

"I know. This is part of my punishment. When mistress decides it is time to turn me I will live as a vampire in this seethe, but never be a full part. I will be denied the protection of the seethe while at the same time be the one to take down The Master's enemies." That is what she was instructed to call Timothy, The Master. Most would think it pretentious, but Karen doesn't. She was shown just how powerful Timothy is and that she is alive only by Melissa's sufferance and he wanting Karen to be the seethe assassin. She knows that her continued existence will be determined on how well she continues in her studies and how good of an assassin she becomes.

She knows that she will never have the close relationship with Melissa that her vampire children have and she mourns for something she can't ever have. She wonders how she can desire something like that from the very one that hurts and tortures her or has her tortured rather. Then she wonders why she ever thought becoming an assassin was ever a good idea and taking that job was smart. She had known that Melissa McGavity was high profile, but thought she could handle it. She realized far too late that she would never had made it for long as an assassin even if there weren't vampires in the world.

It just all comes crashing down on her all at once and she doesn't even try to protect herself when Travis comes after her. She takes his hits full force and allows him to do whatever he wants.

When Travis feels her depression he disengages immediately and has Timothy come over and feed her blood.

"What the hell, Travis? This is what I expected from you when we first captured her, not now." Timothy chastises him even as he forces his blood into Karen's mouth. She doesn't respond.