my first kiss went a little like this

s

A best friend by proximity. Our moms loved hanging out and you and me naturally grew closer. We went to the same camp, same week every year to become good Christian girls submissive to future husbands. Ew ew ew ew I can't believe I typed that just ew but it was true. We never really believed in that though and preferred each other's company over Benjamin, he was truly a dick. You always knew how to make me react the way you wanted, and I never minded it. You were the most important to me for that week every year. I do miss camp with you.

We both always had swimming with each other and all the other girls hated water so we had the whole lake to kayak and swim in for hours. Benefit of Christian camps? Guys weren't allowed to come without a chaperone.

We both got sunburnt, ate wild berries, kayaked into the middle of the lake with our way too bulky jackets. You teased me and told me you bet I couldn't swim to a floating log before you. You beat me of course, I was always purposefully too slow when we raced and I liked seeing your face light up when you won. We pulled our kayaks to the log and sat there floating for awhile. You dared me to dive under so we could hold our breathes for awhile and I accepted.
Under there it was quiet, cold. I remember you had grabbed my hand so I opened my eyes in case you were in trouble. Instead you were in front of me and in that odd underwater fashion, you pulled me forward and we connected. All my air literally rushed out and we both headed to the surface. You were smiling but looked fearful as if someone could have seen us underwater. You quickly climbed into a kayak (mine) but I just stayed quiet and climbed into the other.
You wouldn't look at me after that until I dared you to race me back to shore you looked at me and for some reason I was breathless again. Your smile made my heart rush and I knew I had a crush. We put our kayaks away, went to evening prayer and spoke that night in hushed tones, still sharing that same bunk as when we were little and it seemed so much bigger. That was our world for 9 short hours. Never will I forget those hours. You told me that you wanted to kiss me again but couldn't. It wasn't safe and it wasn't in gods plan for this to happen. We haven't talked about it since but you also haven't ever dated a boy. I bet your mother must be going crazy over that. Sometimes I wonder if I was in Michigan if we could've made it work. But that's an if and we promised to not have those. Our song will always be Hallelujah right?
You're still my best friend S, I can't wait to see you when I visit. You better introduce me to that girl always on your Instagram.