Heart of the Matter

13

When Lindsey hears his daughter laughing he slinks passed her door with an overnight bag slung over his shoulder and he quickly makes his way down to the garage and out of his house. It's only a fifteen-minute drive so he makes it in ample time and as he's unlocking the front door, Stevie hears the lock and she stops in the entryway. She cocks her head to the side and when Lindsey pushes the door open she immediately flings her arms around him.

"I've missed you." She whispers.

"How are you feeling?" Lindsey rubs her back.

"Still can't really breathe but I'm better. But enough about me, what about you?" Stevie questions her finger trailing down his slightly exposed scar. 

"I'm good. The first month was scary and the heart attack itself was terrifying. I have to say if Kendall and Craig hadn't of been there. It would've been Greg and Dad all over again." Lindsey sighs causing her to smack his chest. 

"Don't say things like that. I wouldn't be able to survive." She scolds nuzzling into his neck. 

"I don't plan on going anywhere any time soon." He rubs her back.

"Good, I need to be the first one to die." She tells him kissing his shoulder. 

"Alright, come on. Let's get some sleep." Lindsey leads her upstairs. 

"What will we be doing?" Stevie questions.

"Sleeping. We'll be sleeping. But I have to be out of here by ten because Kendall doesn't know that I'm here." Lindsey chuckles. 

***

May 24, 2019

For the first time in 21 years, Stevie wakes up on the 24th and she doesn't automatically bust into tears. She immediately jolts out of bed and she practically runs down the hall and down the stairs. When she's in the kitchen she pulls out flour, brown sugar, sugar, baking powder and sugar, cinnamon, nutmeg, vegetable oil, vanilla extract, eggs, carrots, and pecans. 

Kendall loves red velvet cake and when they were talking about her birthday that's what Stevie was originally going to make but then she, Lori, and Jessie took Kendall wedding cake tasting and Kendall had settled on a white cake with whipped cream frosting for the main cake. But, because she didn't want a horribly huge cake, only two layers and the wedding wasn't going to be that big she wanted to do Red Velvet and Carrot Cake cupcakes as they were her two favorites.  Carrot Cake was Stevie's preferred cake flavor even though, just like Kendall she does like Red Velvet. So with that in mind when Stevie sent Karen grocery shopping for the weekend she requested Karen bring her the ingredients for her mom's carrot cake. 

When Karen got to Stevie's house that afternoon, Stevie was wearing a red chiffon three-quarter sleeved top and a pair of jeans her glasses perched on her face frosting the cake 

"You're not crying in that unused nursery?" Karen questions.

"Karen, she's back. I've touched her and I've held her and she'll be here in an hour and I want her birthday cake finished when she gets here." Stevie tells.

"Did you bake that by yourself?" Karen goes to swipe her finger across the frosting but Stevie's fast enough and grabs her wrist to stop her. 

"I did. Don't touch it. Did you pick up the gift?" Stevie asks putting her assistant's hand down and going back to work on her piping. 

"I did. Where do you want me to put it?" Karen sighs. 

"On my bed, I still have to wrap it." Stevie motions with her head. 

"Anything else you need me for today?" Karen asks.

"Nope. Just drop the gift and I'll see you on Tuesday." Stevie tells her.

"Well, call me if you need me." Karen waves walking to the stairs. 

After her assistant leaves she starts working on dinner. She's making chicken cordon bleu, and while she lets it cook she goes upstairs and wraps the gift. She's excited because she's never gotten to give her child a gift before and all of a sudden it's like her life has changed drastically and she likes it. A lot. She gets to nurture which is something she's always done but it had been suppressed for so many years and when she got that glimpse of motherhood she was excited. She was excited to make breakfast for her family and dinner. She wanted to spend birthdays and holidays with her family and she really wanted to take them on vacation-Disney World, Disney Land, when she got older overseas to Australia, London, Ireland- and then in one single moment it was all ripped away from her and then it was suppressed again for 20 years while her daughter was nowhere to be seen. Then it was brought back when a young girl knocked on her front door. 

She's back in the kitchen when the front door opens and Stevie smiles. When Kendall, Craig, and Lindsey walk into the kitchen, Stevie immediately wraps her arms around her daughter when she approached and she squeezes tightly, not willing to let go.

"Thanks, mom." Kendall smiles.

"I love you, I love you, I love you so much and I finally get to celebrate your birthday instead of crying in that nursery," Stevie explains.

"What nursery?' Kendall questions.

"Come on." Stevie motions with her head. 

When Stevie opens the door, it's like a flood of emotion overcomes the whole entire family. The walls are a light purple and the furniture is dark wood. The crib sheets are white with lilac polka dots on it as did the changing table. The cushion on the rocking chair was dark purple and on the wall above the crib was a little piece of artwork. There were three canvases one of them had an elephant facing towards the left with purple, yellow, and purplish-pink flowers on it. In the middle there was a canvas that said you are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray. One sunshine was in the pink color the other sunshine was in yellow and the happy was in purple. the other words were written out in gray. Then on the other side, there was the same elephant picture. 

"Oh, mom." Kendall coos grabbing at an ultrasound picture that was facedown on the shelf. 

"I could never look at it so I had to lay it down. It hurt too much." She shrugs 

"And you've kept this intact for twenty-one years." Kendall inquires.

"I did. I wasn't going to change anything. Hoping that the police would find you. I thought about aging the room up as you would've aged up but something gnawing at me held me back." Stevie nods.

"I love you," Kendall says wrapping her arms around her mother. 

"I love you too. Now, I have Chicken Cordon Bleu downstairs and I made you my mother's homemade carrot cake" Stevie kisses her temple.