Queen of Diamonds

The Sorting (Part One)

I rolled out of bed instinctively when my alarm rang, landing on my pink carpeted floor and pulling myself up to start my daily routine. That's when it hit me. I wasn't going to do my normal daily routine today. I would never do it the same way again. One way or another, whether it meant getting a lovely apartment downtown or living in hell as a spade, I was never coming back to my room again. With that weighing in my mind, I tread lightly as I made my way to my fluffy bean bag chair and picked up the outfit I have for today. A modest dress with a pattern of little red diamonds and roses and a white sash around the hips. I slide out of my pajamas, folding them neatly (which I never do), and setting them on the foot of my bed. I slide myself into the dress, zip it up, and look around. I wish I could take some of my stuff with me, but I've already packed everything that's regulation. I walk to Tabby's cage, sliding open the lock and setting my bunny back inside, refilling her bowl with some treats I keep in the cabinet next to it. I kiss her on the head, hug her tight, then lock the cage. Alexa is gonna take care of her now. 

My hands move much slower than they usually do when I'm doing my makeup. I want everything to be perfect. The bathroom mirror still has a crack in the left corner from the time I threw a hairbrush at my sister and it hit the mirror. I may never see that crack again. I try not to think about it. The idea of the sorting is overwhelming enough without adding more stress. it's better to just distract myself. I puff some setting spray over my face and head downstairs, past a few of the empty spaces where the photos that I'm taking with me used to hang. My parents and two siblings are waiting at the bottom. This is the second time Alexa has gone through this whole process, and she stands next to the stair railing looking like she's at a funeral. Timmy is uncharacteristically quiet in my mother's arms. I had wanted to have a family breakfast before I left, but I had to get up so early, and my dad said it was only going to make it worse, so all I have is the photos from yesterdays breakfast, the quintessential Tatum meal. I wonder if they even eat breakfast where I'm going. 

Chris is waiting outside, and my family piles into the car to give me room to say goodbye. Non-family members are strictly prohibited from accompanying fifteen year olds to the Sorting, even under special circumstances. I'm crying so much at this point I can barely see Chris's face, but he kisses me on the forehead and wraps his arms around me. I'm pulled back to all of our many dates, even the few fights we had and the long talks we had to make up afterwards. I'm pulled back to movie nights and football games, Valentine's days and dances. 
"I love you," Chris says, and his voice is shaking. I bury my face in his chest, trying to make this moment last forever. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," I choke out, the words catching in my throat as I stand there getting the last hug I may ever get from my boyfriend, the love of my life. I was pretty convinced we were Soul Mates for a while, even though I had never seen his Soul Mark. I won't know until after the Sorting. And who knows? Maybe Chris and I will end up together, wherever I go. I pull away and look him in the eyes one last time, then head to the car. 

The Government building is tall, gray, imposing, and completely out of place with the rest of the Diamond neighborhood. Me and my family makes my way up the steps and into the dim lobby. There are a few other families here and there, she with kids that look my age, some people filing paperwork for other reasons. It's easy to forget living in the Diamond sector, but the Government took control for a reason, and they took control well. They have a lock on every aspect of life. Not that I really mind. They keep life in the Diamond sector absolutely perfect. My dad approaches the front desk and picks up the paperwork to be filled out. I'm clinging to my mother and Alexa is clinging to me, and we're both crying like children. All my hopes that I was going to be a Diamond after this are gone. I've started to prepare for the worst. 

I don't remember my dad turning the paperwork in. I don't even remember the wait. I just remember an elderly woman appearing at the door, like a harbinger of the apocalypse only in a clean pressed button down, and saying all to clearly "Nova Tatum". I hugged my family one last time, clinging to them in a sobbing heap, and stuffed the polaroids I had just taken of them into my carry-with bag. The rest of my luggage would be shipped to whatever sector I ended up in. I could barely walk straight, but somehow I managed to follow the woman. At the last second, I turned around, and caught a glance of my perfect family before the door closed, all of them with tears in their eyes. I wanted to stand and stare at that door forever, waiting for it to open, but the woman was in a hurry. She grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall behind her. She must deal with people like me every day, sobbing wrecks who just left the only thing they'd ever known behind. She must be callous and desensitized to it. 

The woman asks me a few questions that I can't understand through my grief, and I'm unconscious of responding to them, but she's obviously satisfied because she pushes me by the arm into another waiting room. This one is filled with just kids my age. There's probably about fifteen of us, everyone crying. Two twin girls are clinging to each other, and I recognize a couple people from school, but not by name. Even if I did, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone. I don't have the energy. I sit down in one of the hard plastic chairs, and bury my face in my hands. This can't be real. I'm going to wake up and this will all be a dream. I have to. But instead, when I open my eyes, I see a door at the end of the room (not the one I went through, but a bigger, heavier, metal door) opening, and a man and four teenagers come in. It's the Dealer and our Reps. Despite my grief, my heart skips a beat.