Soulmates

4

(2006)

"Okay, I pulled up all the records of people that have died in the last year in a 100 mile radius. Also, thats the most morbid thing I've ever said."

I tried to smile at Kegan, it was the least I could do for all she was doing to help.

"This is going to completely suck, but in order to find out more, I need to know everything I can about them. What interactions have you had, Clark?"

"Uhh... well..." it took a minute. I felt like those few times I got something were private, that it was a betrayal to let someone else in. I knew that Kegan and I were supposed to be each other's back up soulmates and all, but it still was hard to talk to her. Also, did fate wait until someone else who was compatible was free or did they just assign you with anyone who was the same age and available? Either way I was going to be stuck with her so I guess I would have to open up some time. Still, I couldn't get the words out. I just remembered the lines appearing in the middle of night, at about 3 am, stinging immediately as I imagined what they were going through, the apology finally making sense but still wanting to fight the tears that I know they would see so that way I could get answers. But I only got distanced away from because I wasn't strong enough to fight the drops from my eyes.

Kegan must of noticed I had shut down because she was patting my back, not knowing how to comfort.

"Jacob used to give the best hugs. I don't know how I liked them, I'm not good at touching in general and I don't usually like it, but he did it and he made it okay." I could feel a tiny wet spot on my fingers as she wiped her tears and they appeared on my skin. "I can't even begin to know how much it must suck to not have that memory, but I'm going to try and help, even if I'm awful at it."

I decided that words were not going to work for me, so I traced my arm with my nail just hard enough for it to leave a temporary mark. It appeared on her skin and she looked down and then at me. "Oh my gosh."

She didn't overreact, which was good. If she would have hugged me after her whole attempt at connecting, I would have started crying. Instead she grabbed my hand and just squeezed it. Surprisingly, that was exactly what I needed.

---------

(2007)

I met Kegan's parents. They were really cool and they seemed to think it was enduring that I was nervous to meet them. They told me a couple stories about her childhood and how my body wouldn't be found if I hurt her, but other than that it was extremely pleasant.

Next week was her turn to meet the parents, but my moms had already told me that they were hopeless romantics and they'd love whoever was destined for me. I still hadn't told them about our situation yet, which I wouldn't need to until they met Kegan's parents. She was already on board with not bringing anything up and would basically tell them that she was super shy, never knowing what to say. They'd know the truth soon enough, but they never knew about the scars in the first place so I didn't want to reopen them until we found out more.

I was personally threatened that if I went into Kegan's room before she turned 18 that I would be murdered, but we went to the office and that seemed fine to them as long as the doors were open. They had already met Jacob so I could tell that they had high expectations for me, but I think they liked me.

"Alright so I have it narrowed down to about 25 possibilities. I looked at who gave the eulogy and checked to make sure that they weren't a family member or friend, since from experience the soul mate usually does it or has something to say in regards... I also left out any accidents that produced notable bruises or cuts. Also, yet another morbid sentence. Honestly I'm probably on some watchlist because of my obsession with dead people lately. And then I also left out anyone with more than a 10 year age difference. They are in a seperate pile so that if these remaining are not correct, we go up to 15 years."

I squeezed my hand and knew she could feel the pressure as well. That's what we did now when we didn't want to talk, it was our mix of personal space but also still kind of intimate.

She smiled at me and pulled up anything she could on the prospects.

"We're going to find them real soon, I can feel it."

She pulled up a girl that died the day I got my last tiny scratch from them.

"Hospitalized from drug overdose and died three hours later, suicide."

It felt good to know that we might be on to something, but also the worst feeling in the world that we were about a year too late.