You (YouTube One-Shots)

Savior

(I'm adding a severe trigger warning for this one.)

"I'm sorry, but... I don't understand."

"Of course you don't." The silence that fell between the two of you was palpable. He brushed a shock of hair from his face as he began to pace about the room. You watched him with wary eyes, tired, and oh so sick of feeling the way you did. Numb.

"You're always painting me to be some sort of villain. Why? Am I really that bad of a guy?" Mark asked, almost sadly.

You sighed and shook your head, your eyes slowly closing on their own. Against his pained expression, the hurt in his own eyes. "No, Mark, I don't think you're a bad guy," you replied quietly, almost inaudible.

He suddenly knelt on the floor in front of you, hands covering your own. His were full of life and vitality, warmth emanating from them in waves. "So then talk to me. Tell me what's been going on. We don't talk anymore, not really. We used to, all the time. So what changed?"

You scoffed, looking away from him, from his warm gaze, pulling your hands out of his stronger ones. "Mark, people just change. It's not like it can be helped. I mean, look at you now, running two separate channels and a clothing brand? Seriously? Mark, that's..." It was incredible, really. He had always managed to stay busy, for as long as you had known him.

Your gestures did not go unnoticed, and he reached for your hands again. "Tell me what's been going on. Please."

How could you? His grip was so strong and firm on your hands that you didn't have the heart to pull yours away for the second time. Your mind began to spin, a whirlwind of thoughts echoing and bouncing off the walls of your brain.

Should I tell him?

Of course not! Don't be stupid, he... he wouldn't understand.

With a soft grunt you stood up and maneuvered your way around the Korean male, headed for the door. Or at least you would have if he hadn't reached out and grabbed your wrist. You hissed in pain and jerked your arm out of his grip. Mark's eyes went wide, a little confused and a lot alarmed. "Did I hurt you?" he asked warily, clearly worried.

You his your arms behind your back, fiddling with the long sleeves of your hoodie. Your Cloak hoodie, to be more specific; it had been a gift from him. You had already worn it more times than you could count. You cherished the thing, especially seeing as how it had come from Mark. "No, you didn't hurt me," you lied, looking down towards the hardwood flooring of his kitchen. You were so close to the door; so damn close. If only you knew you would be able to reach it without him stopping you again.

Mark's eyebrows had furrowed together as he tried to understand what had happened. You could only hope he didn't put two and two together. "Wait... h-hey, you're not..."

"Not what?" You took a small step back and away from him, still heading for the door.

"Are you... hurting yourself?"

Your thoughts drained from your mind, along with the color from your face. It was a dead giveaway. You spun on your heel and ran for the door, not bothering to look back as you ran out and away from Mark's house. You could hear him yelling, calling out to you, but in the blur of your emotions you had tuned him out altogether as you ran back home.

~☆~

Now he knows... he figured it out, that I have a bad case of depression... I can't ever see him again.

You would have been crying, if you didn't feel so numb.

I'm such a fucking idiot. I shouldn't have said anything. Why did I even...?