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black spots danced before his eyes as he stumbled through the small, enclosed space. loud crashes would be heard as he did so, furniture bumping together, glass tipping and shattering and heavy breathing was the source of the sounds. he knew that he was breaking expensive items, probably wrecking the small apartment, but he didn't care. he wanted out. he needed out.
he blindly walked towards the front door, leaving a trail of blood as he did so. his shirt sleeves were soaked but he didn't care, his legs were numb but he still pushed himself forward. he was feeling lightheaded yet so free. he wanted to feel like this all the time, but he didn't want to feel.
he finally reached the door and messily shoved the key into the keyhole, not caring how he coated both the key and the door handle in blood, smearing it everywhere, creeping down the slab of wood, seeping into the tiny cracks and crevices, capillary action bringing some of the dark red above the handle.
he stepped out onto the ugly grey concrete stairs, stumbling down them carelessly, black cardigan pooling around his shoulders, exposing his black shirt and his collarbones. he began to laugh maniacally, running down the street, feeling the cold, midnight air hit him in the face, ruffling his silver locks, turning his small nose pink.
he kept running and running and running, enjoying the pain in his chest and the numbness in his legs as he stumbled over them, coming so closed to hitting the ground before he brought himself back up, giggling at his antics as if he was high, which wouldn't be a surprise to him.
he came to the end of the road in the pathetic neighbourhood, turning around to stare at it again, an unsettling smirk curling his lips as he did so. he looked down at his hands and grinned at the collecting blood, watching as they shifted in and out of focus, feeling his legs give out as he gave in, falling and laying flat on the ground.
popping open a small container of pills, a mixture of antidepressants, advil, vicodin, aspirin and ecstasy, he poured the remaining contents into his hand, not that there were many left--he had used nearly the entire bottle--and shoved them into his mouth, downing the deadly drugs dry, breathing heavily as he stared up at the moon.
"gumusservi", he whispered, knowing it was one of the very few things that he would miss. "moonlight shining on the water", his lips barely moved as his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his breathing slowed, giving in.
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another puff of smoke filled the crisp air as he sat on the steps, the dreaded roll of tobacco resting in between his pointer and middle finger, thumb steadying the cylinder of rolled-up drugs. jeongguk took another long drag from his cigarette as he stared at the night sky, in a way, glaring at it, a twisted smile adorning his features as he watched the cigarette smoke cloud the small patch of the night sky.
a loud crash could be heard from his left so he turned to face it, a sort of confused amusement glinting in his eyes as he watched a figure stumble out the door, slamming it shut before they carelessly tripped down the stairs. the raventte studied the figure, scoffing slightly as he watched them run without a care in the world. silver hair, a stud in one ear and a dangling earring from the same ear, the other adorned with a helix piercing and two lower piercings, joined together by the chained earrings that the person wore.
fishnet stockings, black shorts, black cardigan and a black t-shirt, jeongguk found himself licking his lips at the sight of the stranger's cardigan sliding off his shoulders, exposing shimmering, tan collarbones. oh, how he wanted to sink his teeth into the perfectly smooth skin, to ruing the innocence that the unmarked figure held.
he watched as the figure stumbled and nearly fell face flat onto the ground and rolled his eyes.
"high solivagant idiot", he muttered, eyes still following the petite boy, watching him as he collapsed onto the ground.
his high must be wearing off.
the ravenette rolled his eyes when the boy said something, though something about the teasing smirk that played on the smaller's lips had jeongguk's gut churning in the most pleasant way. the boy proceeded to open a container and began emptying the contents into his hand, raising the trembling limb to his lips and tilting his head back, whispering one last thing before his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his breathing slowed.
the ravenette squished his cigarette into the concrete step he was sitting on, effectively putting it out, getting some sort of satisfaction out of the small sizzling sound the nicotine made as it cooled down. he stood up and walked down the steps, turning to walk away from the boy as he did so, but something stopped him.
he didn't know what but he turned back around and marched down the road. it was stupid, idiotic of him, yes, but the boy was intriguing, from the way he dressed to the way he seemed so utterly happy to be high and dying, there was something about him that drew jeongguk closer.
he finally reached the collapsed figure and stared at it, finding no other way to describe the boy but ethereal. he couldn't help but appreciate the natural beauty that the petite figure held, he felt drawn towards him, he felt as if there was an invisible force pulling him towards the small boy.
maybe it was because jeongguk was a philocalist, maybe that's why he felt drawn towards the boy who was the utter depiction of beauty, but as jeongguk's eyes travelled down to the figure's arms, the sleeves of the black cardigan riding up, deep cuts oozing with blood. the raventte sighed and moved to pick him up, but paused.
whys should i care? he clearly wanted to kill himself, so why am i saving him?
he sighed as he stared at the boy's soft features once more before growling to himself.
"oh for fuck's sake", he muttered, winding his arms under the boy's limp body and picked him up. "he better be thankful for this."
