Me And You

Chapter 23

Our story is a story about fall-the season, but it's also a story about love-the act of falling in love, not to be mistaken with the act of falling out of love, of falling into despair.

When we laid in bed that night, we looked into each other's eyes and I felled once again instantly for him. It felt like arousal, that feeling that rushes from the pit of your stomach up your body and makes your chest swell when the feeling finally hits your heart, except when it's arousal the feeling is primitive and when it's love it's primal; it's a completely different emotion. Every time he looked into my eyes I could feel the motion of love sweep over me.

Actually, I never told him that I loved him. But I did love him. Despite him wearing flip flops. Despite my pet name-"annoying." There also came a time when he had to go to overseas for his business. Two years later and we were still friends. He still used to call me to see how I was doing. He use to say, "I'm sorry" when I use to tell him I've had a bad day. I can still hear him saying "annoying" on the other end.

But I let it lay low, the feeling. I didn't call him, because I was self-conscious, because I worried of being bothersome. But I always picked up his calls, like when he'd be away for work and called to tell me he missed me, or when he called and told me he couldn't wait to see me.

Until he was back from overseas and called me again and met me outside my cafe after work. And we went for a long walk to a joint among buildings and statues and the green summer grass. He'd bought a ticket to the movies. He asked me to join him, but I'm not one for movies. So instead we sat on a bench and spoke for hours. It had rained earlier and the air was thick with moisture and I still remembered that I was dressed in all black and my fringe bangs became side bangs from my wet palms pushing them to the side, but he didn't notice, he just saw me.

At least, I think he saw me. That's what I thought his smile said anyway. After that, we went to dinner at this cute restaurant with parrots and healthy organic food. I even gave him a hug when he dropped me at my doorstep and the hug felt more like a new begining.

There even came a time when I had to choose between my career and him. So I told him what I felt right at that moment just before I was suppose to move away from Chicago. I still remember I was back at his house, back on that same couch where we would sit together. So finally after mustering up the courage I told him,

"I have to tell you something, and you don't have to say anything back, but I have to tell you because I want you to know," and that's when I said it.

I said, "I love you."

He wasn't shocked, he wasn't gaping at me but he just listened to me and after what felt like hours he asked if I meant it. I said, "Yes."

"But I couldn't love you" was his immediate reply.

I knew he would say something like this only so I just smiled.

"That's okay."

"No, Laiba you're taking it wrong. You know very well that I'm against of all this relationship. I want to get married instead of courting. And now, I'm not ready to get settled, yet. Out of everyone you know what my plans are!!" He looked at me

"And that's why I said, that's okay!" I smiled once again.

But everything changed when he showed himself in the airport just before I was about to go through the final process of check in. There were tears in my eyes when I looked at him among the many heads of the travellers. He had once said that he want to stand out in the crowd so that his "Queen" wouldn't have to search for him and just like that I didn't had to search for him.

I walked back to the main entrance where he was standing for his Queen. His hands stuffed inside his jean pocket, his bangs perfectly falling on his forehead, his classic smirk present. I ran my finger through the straps of my backpack as I stood in front of him ignoring my name being called for boarding.