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The Unwanted Place

Hello, my name is James, I'm 17 years old gay boy from the biggest shit hole in this entire planet, and let me tell you the story of my life.

I come from a place, where only bad things happen... rape, murder, bullying... that's happening on the daily basis, even in the middle of the day, but honey, at night, you don't wanna even think about going outside your apartment  or even house... like, not even for 2 minutes, you don't know if some junkie is waiting outside for you to come out and rape you, rob you, or even worse, kill you. Don't even think about showing any sign that you are a part of the LGBT+ community, even not walking "straight" could get you beaten up. If you are going here to an elementary school, expect to be either the "cool" one, or to get bullied throughout your whole time being in the school, and when I say bullying, I'm mean getting beaten up every day, they will stop beating you until they see that you are bleeding, and then they will wait for the next day to do the same thing they did before. Yes, it happened to me, I was the victim, but hey, there is also a positive side to that, I have gotten very stronger throughout the years, soo... Yaay... I guess... But, never mind. Are they any interesting places in this shit hole? Literally, no. We have like, some bars, but you don't want to go there at any price, every night at around 12AM there is someone who will start the fight, but if you are in the fight, you'll be very lucky to survive, and police? They are literally useless. They are so afraid to even do something, so yeah, mafia has the right here. Other than bars, we have some supermarkets, and I don't know how, but they are like the prettiest places to visit in this town. We also have a lot of empty buildings, they are mostly filled up with some mafia, junkies or some rapists. Oh yeah, rape, I will also talk about that... But hey, there are some "interesting" things here. Other than empty buildings, we have also full buildings. Difference? They're just full. Other than that, we have a small lake, but I wouldn't be surprised if there are some dead bodies in there... Since you can see how "interesting" my town actually is, I'm going to tell you what happened last year in April. A girl named Tiffany, who was 16 at the time was a transgender girl. The girl was pretty lucky, because her parents let her start her transition at a very young age, so you couldn't even see any sign that she was actually a biological boy, which for me, it's really lucky thing, because most of the parents either disown their children and let them live on the street, or don't let you take hormones and even sometimes, they send you in military to become a real "man" which actually never happens. They once sent a trans girl to military, and when she came back she just couldn't pretend to be a boy anymore, so she killed herself. So yeah, people can be this dumb, but back to the story. For Tiffany, it was held a secret till the April last year, when she was going to visit her best friend. It was maybe 2PM, she was in a great mood 'till a car stopped near her in the middle of the street. She already knew what was going to happen. Those were some guys, if it's true what they're telling, they were about in the mid 40s. "Oh hi there, why is such a young pretty girl walking here alone without any company?" asked one of the guys. "Well, I'm just going to visit my friend" said the girl, knowing she might end up in trouble. "Oh well, but where does your friend live? Should we drive you to your friend, it's really dangerous out here" Said the guy while smiling like a psycho. The girl is getting at this point really scared and anxious, "Thank you very much, but she is not far away from here". The guys looked a bit shocked, but they said ok and left. The girl knew that she will meet them again, if she goes the same way as she planned. She walked a bit forward and found an empty house. She though the best way is that she should hide in the house for some time, until she is sure that nobody is going to find her. Until some time, she sat there really scared and thinking about what could happen. She was definitely thinking about how she's gonna survive... About her friends, family and everything. And I can tell you, I know for a fact how she felt, because something similar happened to me... She was sitting there, and those were only 15 minutes, but to her, it felt like a whole hour. Sitting there, not knowing if you're going to be alive, if they maybe somehow find you, how could you escape. At that moment, you just want to go and hug your mom, and to hear her telling you that everything will be alright, to give you some food and maybe sing to you, and then you can feel safe again. But then you realize you are still hiding, and you have no idea what to do. How long to stay. To call police? No way, then you're totally dead. Then the devastation comes. You just think about every plan you have, and you think about your future and how you want it to be. Then, you forget about your position and just smile, but then, at the exact moment, she hears the car driving slowly nearby the house. Then, you freeze. And, you know, that there are 99% chance of you being dead. She hears the car doors opening. "Go, check that street, I well be looking around...". She froze immediately, she recognized the voice. It was the same guy from before, and she was really scared, her heart was beating so quickly, she thought it would come out from her chest. She was just hoping that no-one will find her and that she'll be safe. But that didn't age well, after some minutes, she hears some footsteps inside the house. She just froze, she couldn't move her body anymore. Imagine that. We all say that, "I would directly run away or even try to kill him", but believe me, the fear just takes over you. You have 0 chance. Only thing you can do is pray to god, but sometimes because of the shock you cannot even do that. The guy found her... I mean, they just have here perfect noses to find a scent of an innocent young girls. "Oh, hi little girl, why aren't you with your friend?" asked the guy. Her eyes started to drop tears, but she couldn't move or say anything. She was basically paralyzed and only thing that she could do is watch and listen. "Come to daddy...". That was the last thing she heard before the man knocked her off. They took her in the car, and drove away like if nothing ever happened. She woke up in the building, The one of the biggest buildings in the Town. It is mostly an empty dirty building, but most of the time the biggest mafia, rapists and junkies are gathering there to do all the awful things that possibly exist. That building is haunting me, and believe when I tell you, this is maybe the first time you hear about this building, but surely not the last. She woke up in a dirty room, in the whole center of the building, laying on a broken table. Near her were standing 4 guys, definitely some non-muscular men with the gun and the joint in their mouth. They were about to rape her, but to their surprise, they didn't know that she has the male genitalia. I personally cannot imagine the face expression they had, because that is definitely something they never saw before. Most of the woman who get raped here get either killed after they got raped, but sometimes they even let them go, but mostly those women who get the freedom, attempt to do suicide... But this was a whole other level for them. "Please, have some mercy, let me go". Said Tiffany, knowing that her life is about to end but that was the only thing that she could do at that point. They were so mad at her. It came to the point where one guy took his gun and shot her in her testicles. They immediately left. Just imagine that pain, and if you do, be thankful that some girls just hit you there, and not shoot at you. She couldn't see anything at that point, she went blind, she could hardly speak anymore. But, she was a really strong person... She reached for her phone. She sent her mom a voice message saying "I love you mommy, very much, be strong". She passed immediately away... And the very next day, everybody in the Town knew what happened. And would you believe me when I tell you that literally no-one cared. No posters saying "R.I.P. Tiffany" or something like that. The killer said proudly to everyone what he did, how he killed the stupid fag and helped this world get cleaner from those monsters and that everyone should be thankful to him. And some people on the street even screamed something like "Yeah" or "You're our hero". When I heard the whole story, and what that guy said, I was so sad that someone from my community died, AGAIN, but also angry at the same time. Angry, because some shitty asshole thinks he is cool because he did that. I wanted to shout from my window, but I tried to control my self, because I didn't want to end up like her. One year after that happened, nobody actually speaks about it anymore. Her father moved from the Town because he didn't want to be known as a father of a transgender girl. And her mom? She died from depression. It was too much for her. Her dad is a fucking retard, like how the fuck can you leave your wife, I mean, like, her daughter died, she is scared to leave the house, and you are leaving her alone... Leaving her to kill herself... fucking idiot, I hope he'll burn in hell. So yeah, homophobia and transphobia is a huge thing here. I really don't know anything nice that I could tell you about this place, maybe the sky at the night, but it gets disturbing when you hear someone screaming for help. The buildings look hilarious and interesting, or should I say, looked interesting, now the only thing you can see are peeled walls, and 100 of different graffitis on them. The only streets I've been walking throughout this Town were basically my way to the elementary school, and that one where the supermarket and bus station is. But, that doesn't mean that I don't know shit about this Town, 'cuz believe me, I know everything. My best friend, telescope and I are living together for a long time now, and I saw a lot of things, and I wish that I have never seen them.

Now, I will let you know more about myself. As you already know, or you maybe forgot, I'm James! I live with my mom in an apartment in this shit hole. As I already said, I am just a simple gay guy, who tries to have the best life he could possibly have. Now you are maybe wondering if someone knows that I'm gay... And the truth is, yes. But, no-one it this town except my lovely mom. I came out to her when I was 13 years old, and she was really accepting, which I was really shocked, but at the same time, she wasn't that much happy about it either. Not because of the fact that I was gay, because she knows that you cannot change your sexuality, but because of the fact that it is really risky for me to live here, and possibly, die here. I didn't care about it too much, because, when I turn 18, I will be moving to the City, the place where everything is different, like totally opposite of this Town. It was never hard for me to keep it as a secret, and my life, wasn't the best, but wasn't the worst either, but then, my life turned totally upside down, the truth came out...