Your Name

##.15

I would have the chance to feel the safety and security as I am feeling my body traveling down, or simply falling through the power of the gravity.

I really thought I was falling when in fact I was just imagining things. One step, two step... I breathed deep and heavily, can I really do this?

I'm still unsure, I am confused. You want it right, you want to end it all right just jump you won't feel anything. I encouraged myself. Unbelievable, am I waiting for someone to stop me?

"Stop being delusional, Beomgyu! You existed way to late in their lives, you existed to just ruin their lives." I shouted the thing that my other half should have told me if they're here.

So pathetic of me, I keep on longing for someone when they already leaved me without hesitation.

Jump, just jump.

"Goodbye." The last thing I said before letting myself fall, not in love but on the thing they called death. Finally I win, I defeated the big wolf or it was just plain sciamachy, a battle against the imaginary non-existent enemies.. A battle against my own shadow, against my own self. A battle between me and my fear, leaving without someone stopping me.

"Beomgyu, wake up." Almost the hundred times Taehyun shaked him up to wake up from his nightmare.

"Ya, Choi Beomgyu." Finally he shouted getting tired of repeating himself over again.

"Taehyun." The only word he said before hugging him in tears. He dreamed of him again, he dreamed of his first love again with the same scene.

"It must be hard for you." Taehyun said patting the back of the older one who seems to haven't moved on yet, by the incident in the past 2 years.

"Why should he have to die and hunt me like this in my sleep." He said in pure agony.

"He must've missed you so much in heaven." Taehyun replied after Beomgyu broke the brotherly hugged and stopped crying.

"Do you still remember, his name." Taehyun asked Beomgyu and he just replied with a smile before mentioning his name, "Choi Soobin." And that's when memories came back rushing on his mind everytime he calls his name, those memories that's full of happiness.

"Soobin, soobin you know, you know Soobin." Beomgyu said being his usual self when it comes to Soobin, a clingy one.

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"Soobin, do you want to be friends with Beomgyu?" Hueningkai asked to Soobin that time when they played truth or dare out of boredom, "No, Beomgyu was born on 2001 and I was born on 2000."

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"Now, I know the reason why you don't want to friends with me. You like me right?" Beomgyu asked to Soobin on Pepero Day after caughting him putting some chocolates on his locker.

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"Beomgyu doesn't like tomato and seafood, so don't put anything with that."

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"Beomgyu, who's the artists that you like?" Soobin asked, "I like V and Post Malone." He replied. "I'm supposed to say the same thing but you changed the order."

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"We will do some ASMR." Beomgyu said before shoving a biscuit stick on Soobin's mouth. "Hey, I said I already brushed my teeth." Soobin said before getting his revenge back on Beomgyu. "You too, here eat." He said before rubbing the biscuit stick on Beomgyu teeth on purposed. "We're fine now." The last thing he said, and also the last memory Beomgyu will have for him.

"That's it. Those are my only memories of him." He said to Taehyun after telling him the broken pieces of his memories with him. "If I just know that he would be gone this early, I would have shared every moments of my life with him." He added.

"If I just find him way too early, we would have shared much more. But sadly I came too late." He said again before tearing into a force smile after all his sadness. "No you didn't found him late, you found him the exact time you both needed each other, when you both needed a light in your life, needed to smile. When you needed to feel love, when you needed someone to comfort you. And lastly when you both needed to hear that someone is grateful for your existence." Taehyun sincerely replied.

"Choi Soobin." He said one last time before promising to himself that it would be the last time he would dreamed of him, amd would be the last time that he would cry for him but never be the last time that he will love him. He will always be his first love.

A/N:
Another update guys, I'm so sad right now I can't bring myself saying goodbye to yall. HUHUHU