The weekly show with Bob Cobs.

Episode 1. My Life

Hey everone. My name is Bob Cobs. I'm a single puppet who has the ability to take shit. Yea I know... It's kinda weird. But still. I'm one of a kind. No one has ever compared me to anyone else. Because no one has seen me, except my buddy Daniel. He's my best friend. But kind of a freak. He's nine years old. He wears blue colored braces, his weight is 57 kgs and I think he's pregnant. I don't know why, but for some reason. Everyday when he comes back from school, he opens his closet, takes me out and then sticks his hand up my bottom. He then uses his voice to mimic my mouth and moves my hand like I'm a puppet or something. I know it's stupid. I sometimes think that he has some kind of a biological problem which forces him to do that. But I still like him.

Let me introduce myself to you guys. My name is Bob. I'm single... I'm still looking for a girl. Everyday, a woman comes inside Daniel's room, open's the closet, cleans the closet and then proceeds to cleans the entire room. I first had a crush on her, but later on I regretted that. Not because she's in her 40s, but because she's Daniel's mom. This was back when I was 12. Yes... I do have a birthday. And yes... I do celebrate my birthdays. Alone...

I live in a small closet. I have quite alot of furniture in my room. I have a screwdriver which acts as a sofa, a small bottle cap which acts as a table, a tiny white ball to play with, a small razor blade to cut my hair in case I find a girl and a yellow colored cotton bud for no reason. There wasn't a bed for me to sleep on until yesterday... Daniel threw a rolled up tissue paper in the closet. And when he was sleeping, I took that tissue paper, unfolded it and used it as my bed. I'm not sure what was on that tissue but I still get a place to sleep. I even have my own toilet. It's not the best, but I don't have a problem with it. There's a small hole in the corner of my closet. God knows what's inside that hole, but whoever is inside that hole. He'd want to come out. That hole is my toilet. I don't need any privacy since no one is there to see when I'm naked or not. And to be honest. I'm half naked all the time. I don't have anything to cover my bottom half. I wear a simple yellow coat with a tie... That's it. Let's move on...

I never really complained for my life. Until that one time where Daniel threw his sock in my closet. It was a DISASTER. I still have nightmares about that sock. But that lovely lady which I had a crush on came and took out the sock from my home. That's one of the reasons why I had a crush on her. At times, when she would open the closet door, I secretly moved my hand towards her hand waiting for her to grab my hand but she never replied to my love.

To be honest I never really knew she was Daniel's mom. Or else, I'd never even look at her. I had a doubt that it was Daniel's sister, but my question was soon gone when I saw her changing Daniel's diaper when he was 5.

We puppets grow so fast. Last year I was 17. I was still going through my puberty. And today, I'm 29. Tommorow is my birthday. I'll be turning 30 tomorrow. I need to find a girl soon or else I'll die single. I don't even know when I'll die. I think I'm immortal...

We puppets are very weird. We don't eat a thing, but we still take our shit. We don't have a boys tool, but we still want to marry a girl. I'm still trying to get in contact with the company which made me. I'll tell them to add that tool to my coming brother's.

There's nothing much to do in this closet. There's a broken mobile in my closet. So this is the only source of entertainment I have. And that tiny white ball which I play football with. I started my own show on wattpad. If you're reading this and there's not a single book in your library written by 12 years olds talking about teenagers having romance and breakups with each other, then congrats! Your taste of books is good.

It usually takes me a week to write a thousand words because the company that made me only gave me 2 FREAKING FINGERS to work with. A small thumb and a deformed big finger which looks like 4 fingers combined together. That's another complain going to my complaint list. I'd prefer making a video show using the mobile but sadly the only voice I have is Daniel's. And his voice would be a disappointment for the show. I mean, who would want a 9 year old hosting a daily show, talking about his fortnite wins everyday. I can't stand infront of a camera and move my mouth without any theeth and talk nothing. I'd look like a grandpa. Plus, the camera of that mobile is complete shit. It can't even clearly capture my face... I look like a fusion of voldemort and penewise whenever I try to record on that camera. And you can imagine voldemort having a nose. So yea. Writing it is.

I'm going to sign out now. Because it's almost Daniel's playtime. I hope he doesn't put his hand inside my bottom again. And if he does... Then I'll shit on his hand. Wish me luck.