Welcome back to the weekly show with Bob Cobs. I'd really love to name this show "how puppets can take a shit." but for some reason I can't change my book name. Please help me.
Anyways. Hello guys, my name is Bob Cobs. I'm actually very famous and have a huge fan base of 9 year Olds. You'd have seen me multiple times in toys R us on flat 50% off on black Friday or you'd have seen my brother Jimmy in some of the local cheeper shops and on some patrol stations. Or you'd have seen my gay clone which looks exactly like me just with some blond hair and some red lipstick. And they might look dumb and look like someone who'd eat grass, but believe me, they're all alive and you do not want to buy them. Anyways, the point is... I'm famous. That's why 9 year Olds cry to get me. Some people even beg for me. That's how famous I am. But that's not today's story people. Today I'll tell you how I was born. Who were my mothers, my father, my brothers, my sisters, my uncles, my aunts, my cousins, my grandmother, my grandfather, my great grandfather and my great grandmother...
It all started at one night, when a rich fat ass decided to become even more rich by scamming children to buy ripoffs of other good toys. The toys that were actually good were being redesigned here using cheap materials and then selling them for higher prices. I myself am a ripoff of "Kermit the frog." The only difference is... He has a girlfriend and I don't. But I'm not ashamed to say that.
This man made a big factory where they manufactured these ripoffs and then he sold that toys for almost at a double price. For example, if a nice good looking puppet is for 10 dollars, he would ruin that good looking face and then manufacture the complete Same design and he would sell that for 19.99 dollars. Instead of 20 dollars he would make it 19.99. This was soo stupid, but people were stupid enough to buy that toys.
My friend told me that he saw a sign in the company's shop which said... "BUY ONE STUFFED ANIMAL FOR THE PRICE OF 2 AND RECIVE A SECOND STUFFED ANIMAL ABSOLUTELY FREE." and belive me... When that sign was written in a yellow coloured box and had SALE written multiple times outside it, 9 year Olds would act like it's a "buy one get one free offer" and would beg their moms for that toy.
I don't really remember much about my mom, but people say that my mother's name was j-f 24 Multipro Polyester Toy Soft Stuffing Machine. I heard someone saying my mother was fast and powerful both at the same time.
One night, my mother was sick, and when she was making babies like me, a problem came... When I was born, I was healthy and all, but my legs weren't there. I was a DEFORMED KID. But my mom didn't seem to care much and didn't stop making babies.
That night, 2000 deformed brothers were born. When the sunlight came and everone came back to the factory, they were so pissed off. They killed my mother by throwing her in the garbage. When the boss came, he saw what happened... We all were scared that he'd also throw us away as many of us didn't have some parts of our body like I didn't have my legs, some didn't have there hands or fingers.
Thankfully he decided not to throw us away because it'll be a huge loss for them, so instead of throwing us away... He decided to sell us on sale for only 5 dollars. I was soo angry on him for giving me such a low price tag but atleast I'd have someone. This fat dude was so obsessed with money that If he'd see a deformed puppet or stuffed toy in his company. And that stuffed toy resembles any features of some famous stuff. He'd change the name to that famous stuff. Like for example, my friend's name was Lucas the robot. He didn't have a leg and a hand. So instead of throwing him away, he changed the name of that robot to "injured autobot transformer."
I don't know much about my father. Who he was, his name and where he lived... Rumors say that he didn't like my mother so he left the factory...
We were the only batch of puppets who had the ability to talk, think and walk. By saying talking I mean moving our mouths on our own, not actually speaking. We don't have voices to express ourself. Some puppets could walk but some couldn't like me. I never usually come out of my little hut. I only came out of my apartment 2 times. Once when i saw a coackrach at 3 am in my closet, the other time I saw a mouse. But now I've decided to explore more. By exploring more I mean going out and spying on Daniel's room. I've never gone outside this room. It's my world. I know every corner of this room. Like where Daniel keeps his candy stash, where he keeps his pocket money and the collection of useless stuff like rocks or unfinished lollipops.
One time I saw Daniel rushing into his room, then slamming the door and quickly going to his study table. I couldn't see what was in his hand. I first thought it was a puddle of water in his hands but later on I found it was an orbee. He put the orbee on the table as if it was a golden coin or something. Then he stared at the squished orbee for 3 hours straight. That dude's losing brain cells. He needs help. He ate some of the orbee and sniffed the leftover from the table. That same night, he was so energetic... I couldn't sleep. He was screaming quitely and was punching his pillow for 4 hours. I thought it was something dangerous which he sniffed and ate, but later I found that it was actually a orbee which was on the road. He accidentally smashed the orbee on the road with his tricycle... He told me the complete story at 2 am when everyone was sleeping peacefully. I had to keep my eyes wide open so that he doesn't find out that I'm alive.
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─▐█▄▄▀ ──▀── ▀▀▀──▄Ps. I didn't make that. And you know I didn't. No one has so much time to waste.
YOU ARE READING
The weekly show with Bob Cobs.
HumorMeet Bob Cobs. A single useless puppet who lives in a dark closet in his best friend Daniel's room. No one knows that he can talk, walk, and "type". Every week, fly with his adventures and stories about him, his imaginary friends, and how puppets ca...