Beetlebum - Damon Albarn

7

27th June 1994

I woke up in the all too familiar situation of warm arms being around my waist. The familiar smell of tobacco, bud and alcohol identified the person as Liam.

We were both naked and I could remember the night before, easily. I'd tried to stop our casual relationship on multiple occasions but alcohol is a dangerous substance.

I shifted in my position to try and get a look at the clock, 11:40.

A large sigh came from Liams mouth followed by, "Good mornin'."

I turned to face him, tucking my messy hair behind my ears. We stayed in comfortable silence doing nothing, his finger tips traced the skin on my hip.

I nearly fell back asleep due to the loving sensation. That was until the sound of my door bell was heard.

My eyes opened, met with Liams.

I groaned, standing up and being engulfed by the cold air, I put on Liams t-shirt that reached just below my butt, quickly grabbing some clean boxers that Liam had kept over out of my drawers and used them as shorts.

I left Liam in bed and he just smirked at me getting ready.

The doorbell went off again, "Bloody hell, I'm coming." I called to the person.

I rubbed my eyes and face before opening up, making sure I didn't have sleep in my eyes or dried drool on my chin.

I opened the door and rolled my eyes, sighing, "what are you doing here?"

Damon stood there in a light blue jumper with dark blue jeans and his signature beads on that even when we slept together weren't taken off, "I didn't have your number but wanted to check on you."

"You could've easily gotten it off of someone." I shut my eyes, leaning against the door frame.

He rubbed the back of his neck, "Can I come in?"

I contemplated wether or not it'd be a good idea for the possibility of Liam and Damon seeing each other but Liam would most likely stay in bed or have fallen back to sleep.

I shrugged, turning and letting him come in.

"Did I wake you up?"

"Yeah, actually."

He furrowed his brows apologetically and i walked towards the living room area. It was a small room, similar size to both the kitchen and bedroom, there was a tiny TV on a telly stand in front of the brown sofa.

The TV was hidden by a clothes horse since I'd done my washing a few days ago. He leant against the wall by the door watching as I took some white socks from the horse and put them on.

"What did you want to tell me?" I wondered whilst slipping them on, doing an awkward stance on one leg since I was still stood.

"Oh," he remembered, "I saw you leave during the performance and wondered what was up."

I smirked to myself, so he was watching me, I stood up, walking towards the kitchen, having him follow closely behind me, "I got distracted." I internally laughed.

"You could say something like that." The Mancunian accent interjected.

Me and Damon stood in the doorway of the kitchen looking in. Sat at the small table was Liam, wearing nothing but boxers and grey socks, he was happily munching on a bowl of rice Krispys, not paying any attention to us, just simply interjecting his thoughts.

I felt my face go red, the silence was awkward and I felt as though if Damon didn't think I was easy already he surely would now.

"Don't let me interrupt." Liam said standing up, putting his empty bowl in the sink.

As he walked past us he came up close to my face and gave a cheeky smile, pulling a silly face. I can only presume he either ignore Damon or looked the southerner up and down, sizing him up.

I placed myself where Liam previously sat, Damon watched from the doorframe as I lazily lit myself a cigarette, my first one of the day.

After a moment he walked over, sitting in front of me, "Look at me." He spoke.

I continued to avoid eye contact but my eyes shot to his own when he placed his hand over mine. I flinched at this.

"I thought you said you weren't with Liam?"

"I'm not." I shrugged reverting my eyes back once again.

"So what?" He began, leaning back in his chair, all physical contact between us being broken, "Was he too drunk to go back to his own place?"

I scoffed, "I don't need to tell you about my personal business."

He stood up, "You're right," he walked to the doorframe, "I'll leave you alone now. Sorry for causing trouble."

I didn't reply, not even looking up to where he stood, eyes glued to me. It wasn't until moments later when I heard the click of the door shutting i knew he'd left my apartment.

I groaned, putting my head in my hands, elbows holding me up leaning on the table.

He had to come over and ruin what could've been a perfectly calm morning.

I was distracted by the 'what could've been' when a large hand grabbed my forearm, pulling me up and hugging me, Liam swayed the two of us as he hummed some random tune. He did so in a bored way more than trying to get my mind off of Damon but it worked to do so anyways.

I looked up to the boy towering over me, I kissed him firmly, wrapping my arms around his neck, he was quick to reciprocate as he ran his hands up and down my curves.

We spent the next hour in my bedroom, pleasing each other in the best way we knew how.

I wouldn't have minded spending all day doing this and I'm sure Liam wouldn't either, but as the lead singer and other half of the Gallagher duo, he was booked for another interview I didn't care to remember the name to.

I watched as he dressed in front of me, I was naked under the sheets and lead on my back, sideways on the bed where Liam left me.

He kissed me quick and left, telling me to, 'not miss him too much.'

Alas I was left with my own thoughts, a dangerous game for anyone.

I wondered why I just let Liam sleep with me. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for a short period back in '91 when I first moved to Manchester.

He made me feel at home, the way he treated me and kept me busy, my longing to be back at home grew, missing my mother and shamefully her boyfriend Rudd.

Liam reminded me of Rudd, maybe that's why I was first drawn to him. Them both being tall, having assertive and forceful personalities.

I hate comparing them and Liam would become upset if he ever found out i did, but it's an underlying part of his cockey demeanour that attracted me to Liam, all because of Rudd.

Maybe that's why I didn't let Damon walk over me the same way. Why was I so bothered by Damon wanting to keep me as a casual relationship when I'd let Liam and Rudd do it for years? What gave me the right to deny Damon?

I enjoyed my night with Damon from what I remember if it. I deserve to feel good just as much as the people I sleep with.

It's all that I'm good for really. I know it. When Rudd first told me that I was hurt, but looking back he was right. That's probably why Liam kept me around for so long. Damon deserved his go just as much as them.

But what about Justine? Was she the reason I was so upset? She can't be, I'd stayed with Liam during many of his relationships. And Rudd was obviously no exception being my step-dad.

I had no real reason to be upset. Even with the Sun, they were right, I did sleep with someone who had a girlfriend and deserved the words that they said of me.

I even tried to come onto Jarvis, someone ten years older. What is wrong with me? What must everyone think?

All I know is that if people are going to say something, at least let it be true.