Heyy everyone. I hope you are doing well, especially during this lockdown. Since my country is in quarantine for three more weeks, I have a lot of time on my hands, and I'm planning on posting a lot more now.
My grandmother passed away a week ago, and today was her funeral. I am currently going through a lot emotionally and I hope you can understand that.
Thank you to the loyal readers, I don't say it enough but I really love you guys. You are the reason I continue to write, and you are constantly inspiring and motivating me.
Stay safe amidst this pandemic, and I'm only one inbox away if you ever need to talk about anything that's bothering you.
Super special shoutout to @_HeartShapedKisses_
I appreciate you so much! You are one of the most loyal and amazing readers I know and I honestly consider you my friend. Thank you for constantly inspiring me to write and helping me feel confident in my work.
Onto the story <3. (also please check out my instagram: @denellejochems)
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"What do you mean?" I ask, my heart thumping so loudly in my chest that I'm sure he can hear it. "Why are you here?"
"Happy birthday." he says weakly, his eyes looking vulnerable. It's weird seeing the usually tough turtle looking so fragile in front of me. I avoid his eyes, because I know if I look at them, I'd be exactly where I was a year ago. He wasn't there when I needed him, he doesn't just get to decide when to return.
"How do you know it's my birthday?" I ask.
"You told me." he says and I furrow my brows. I never told Raphael when my birthday is, and besides, I spoke to him so long ago that he couldn't possibly remember the exact day.
"No I didn't." I protest, walking past him, trying to ignore his lies. I place my handbag on the couch and walk to the open fire escape for air.
"You did, the night I turned human, we spoke for forever." he is practically begging me to listen to him now as he follows after me. I sit by the fire escape and he stands behind me. He was right, we spoke about almost everything when he turned human, but how does he remember? And why is he here? "The whole human thing was a stumbling block. I needed to put the city first, and I couldn't if I was human. I- I..."
"You made your choice, why can't you stick to it?" I snap, facing him. I'm desperate for him to leave me alone, because I can't have myself fall for him again. I cling to the emptiness inside my chest, hoping it would be strong enough to hold its own against my past feelings for Raph: feelings of a year ago.
"I made a mistake." he admits, sighing. "I thought saving the city, taking down the Kraang-" I look to the ground as he says this. I won't admit that I feared for his life. I knew he and his brothers were the ones that were going to go up against the Kraang and Shredder, "-I thought it would give me a sense of happiness and accomplishment. I thought the medals we got would be enough, but...it wasn't. And I was too late."
"What do you mean you were too late?"
"Vern told us about the crash..." he says softly, and I look down, suddenly fidgety. "I know you were in hospital. I couldn't do anything about it, because we had to save the city, and...and I couldn't do that as a human.
"Then one day I decided that this whole...choosing the city thing was a mistake. That I missed you." I flinch at this and turn my back on him. "But when I told my brothers, they told me...you didn't make it." I suck in a sharp breath, reliving my past. "Vern told us you didn't. He said he needed space and that was the last we saw or heard from you guys."
