It's early in the morning, and I can't sleep. My door is shut, and I'm laying, staring at the ceiling. Thinking.
Suddenly, I tip out of bed and hope Vern is awake. I open the door to my room and see that his is closed. He's asleep.
I sigh and make my way to the kitchen. I start up the kettle and lean against the counter.
After a long few minutes of staring at our fire escape, which is now void of curtains, I notice a pair of familiar eyes on me. It has to be Raphael.
If he wants me to stay away from him, why does he come back and tempt me all the time with his presence?
I find myself walking towards the fire escape. I can't help myself. When I reach the window and open it, he wants me to believe that he's gone. But I know he's not.
"Raphael?" I say. A big part of me hopes he will respond. I really need to talk to someone. "I know you're there."
It doesn't take him long to show himself. He's twirling a sai in his left hand when he does. I feel my heart jolt as the wind blows my hair back. I didn't even have to try this time.
"You got me." he says in a snarky tone, but I can see a small smile on his face. Something tells me he wanted me to find him.
"How'd you know I was up?" I ask, seating myself on the fire escape. He leans against the wall after shrugging.
"Well, Jules, I stalk you." he says, and I know he's lying. "Now ya have it."
"Seriously." I purse my lips, and Raphael can tell I'm not kidding around. He sighs and puts the sai away.
"Leonardo, my brother, caught us talking the other day, and after a huge lecture, they want to meet you."
"They?" my eyes are wide. Raphael gives a narcissistic smile.
"Don't worry, gemstone, I'm the scariest. You'll get along swell with the others." he says in a sarcastic tone, and I roll my eyes at him.
"Well, when?" I ask, crossing my legs. He looks at me and I continue. "When do I meet the brothers?"
His narcissistic smile fades slightly until there is a ghost of it. "On the roof, tomorrow night-- uh," he pauses, "tonight, technically. Ten."
I nod my head, and my eyes fade as I zone out. I'm nervous about meeting Raphael's brothers, I can barely stand up straight in the he presence of Raphael.
I am thankful that Raphael is here with me, even though he doesn't know it. He's easing my thoughts. Thoughts about my parents. Thoughts about why they left.
"What are you thinking about?" he sits beside me, his tall and large frame hogging a lot of space. I turn to him.
Do I say anything? Do I tell him that I can't sleep at night, and why?
I'm quiet, and I can see he gets irritated. "Well?"
I decide to tell him. I decide to tell the strange mutant that I've not known for very long, why I'm up. And why I'm sad.
"A few months ago, my mom, dad and I were in a car." I start, my eyes looking anywhere but his. They roam to his shoulder, and stay there. "We were on our way to surprise Vern," my voice is soft, shaky. "Long story short, a truck didn't drive the way it's supposed to, and I lost two parents that day. I just about made it. I was in the hospital for a while." my voice grows softer, my breathing faster. It feels as if I'm reliving it when I speak. I'm glad I'm not with Vern, I can't let him see me like this. "They told me my mom and dad didn't make it. My dad died instantly, my mom a few hours later. They were my world." my voice cracks, and the knob forms in my throat. "They are my world. When Vern left, I had nobody. He was my only friend. They filled in that space." I don't cry, but my breathing quickens. "And now they're gone. Now I can't sleep at night." my face is warm and my eyes find his. I can't help myself. A tear slips out of my eye. "It keeps me up. It's all I can think about."
Then, as if I am snapped into reality, I quickly wipe the tear away and get up.
"Goodnight, Raphael." I say quickly, climbing through the fire escape in embarrassment.
"Jules, wait-"
"I said goodnight, Raphael." I say softly. "Close the, uh, fire escape when you decide to leave." and I'm gone into my room.
The fire escape doesn't close that night until the sun comes up.
***
"
Let's go, he's gonna be so excited!" I tug my mother on her arm. She chuckles and locks the door behind her. I hop over to our black Jeep where my dad is already in the drivers seat.
I hop into the back and my mom jumps into the passenger seat.
"Well, what song do you request for the road, Emmy?" my dad uses my second name, and I smile. He's the only one that calls me that.
"Sign of the times. On repeat." I say immediately and he chuckles as he pulls out of the driveway. He leans over and plays the song.
The words dwindle in the air, and I smile blissfully.
Then, suddenly, my mom shouts. "Richie, watch out!"
And the car is rolling, spinning.
The words are scrambled, piece by piece, and I scream when I feel my head smash against the window.
I panic when the car comes to a stop and crawl to the window. My dad grabs my leg, his hand full of blood.
I face him. "Daddy."
"Don't leave us." his voice is soft, like mine.
"Richie, speak up." my mother laughs like old times. Then, she turns to me, face filled with blood. Dyed blonde hair stained red. "This is your fault. You left us."
"I-I had to!" I choke out. My breathing increases. "I would've died!"
"It's your fault!" my dad screams, angry. He squeezes my leg. I try to pry his fingers off of my leg as tears stream down my face.
"Dad! Dad, I'm sorry!" I cry, "I'm sorry!"
I shoot out of bed, sweaty and breathless. My chest rises and falls, yet my eyes are dry. So is my throat.
"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty." Vern says at my door. He's holding a mug of coffee. I notice that my curtains were wide open, allowing me to catch sight of the trafficked town. "You were having a nightmare."
"What time is it?" I groan, placing a hand on my head in order to ease the new migraine I got.
"Nearly 3. Long night?" Vern asks. I swallow and look away from him, towards the exposed window.
"Long night." I confirm, my voice soft as usual.
"Well, Gin and I were thinking," Vern starts. I face him. "Dinner tonight? You've been so cooped up at home."
Tonight? I am up to meet Raphael and his brothers on the roof tonight.
"No thank you." I say, my eyes drifting downwards as I get out of bed, carefully peeling the blanket off of me. "I'm not feeling very well."
He doesn't hide the disappointment in his voice. "I'm trying, Jules."
I look up at him. "I know. I do. But next time, please."
He sighs. "Aha." he then swallows down the rest of his coffee. "I'll be off to work." and he disappears inside. I know he's mad, I can hear, but I'm not phased.
All I can think about is the dream. It isn't far from what really happened, which is what makes it so scary.
