The Overly Complicated Life of a (Self-Proclaimed) Villain

Chapter 9

Elliot

I didn't know who kissed whom. I think it was both of us at the same time. But it was almost as if we knew what the other was thinking at that exact moment.

Was it my first kiss?

Hell no, I went to college.

All I knew is that one minute he was painfully close to me and the next his lips were on mine, or the other way around, we still don't know what happened.

Want to know what is a very odd feeling? Kissing yourself. You keep thinking that it's another person, then you open your eyes just a smidge and see your own flushed face.

This makes it sound like the kiss lasted forever, it didn't. It was one of those immediate knee-jerk reactions. Bleddyn pulled away the second he realized what was happening and began stuttering apologies.

He was cute.

It seemed he had no idea what he was doing, but I knew and that is why I was not surprised when my hand grabbed his collar and pulled him into another kiss. Was he surprised? Most likely. I did seem to catch him off guard and in the heat of the moment, things do tend to happen.

In other words: one minute he was leaning and I was sitting on the couch, the next he was pinned under me and I was kissing the daylights out of him.

There is no other way to describe it. Trust me, I've tried. I can still barely wrap my head around the feeling of his hands running through my hair, the soft touches of finger padding down the small of my back, or, most importantly, the movement of his lips on mine.

It was intoxicating-- so much so that he had to break the kiss-- if only for a breath.

"So..." He looked up at me, his eyes-- my eyes-- a soft ocean blue.

"Yes?" I sat up and moved off of him.

"Uh-- well-- what time is it?" He scratched his head, breaking our ever-steady eye contact

So that's how it would be.

No, it didn't bother me. I definitely didn't want to talk about the fact we had made out, on his couch, for like ten minutes straight. Nope.

"Ten after five." I switched my gaze to the window, the sun was low in the sky and it painted the walls of the room gold.

"Thanks," he said. "Do you want to stay here tonight?"

I paused, he turned red.

"For science, I mean. If we really are going to switch back to our original bodies at midnight tonight--"

"If?" I interrupted. "There is no 'if,' we will turn back or I'm not Doctor Nihilistical!"

"Okay fine." He sighed. "When we switch back, is that better?"

"Yes."

"So when we switch back, shouldn't we be together or something, in case the swapping should go wrong?"

"I highly doubt something would go wrong, but I suppose you have a decent point."

He smiled and met my gaze again.

I should kiss him again.

Wait. No, I shouldn't.

Maybe?

No.

Bleddyn

WHAT TIME IS IT? ARE YOU INSANE? WHY CAN'T YOU BE A NORMAL HUMAN FOR ONCE?

Oh no, he's staring, this is not going to end well.

Why can't you just say anything right, Bleddyn? If Chloe saw you right now she'd think you were insane.

"So do you want to grab dinner?" The words just came out, I no longer had control.

I already began regretting every life decision leading up to this point when Elliot looked at me, cocked a grin, and spouted, "Sure."

That, right there, gave me hope.

"Great, I don't have anything here but we can go out or order take out if you want that is."

Elliot stood and walked over to my nearly barren kitchen. "Don't bother wasting money, there are plenty of things here, I can make us something nice." He began pulling things from cabinets and the refrigerator while I just sat there staring in awe.

"You know how to cook?"

"I am a basic functioning human being, yes. Do you not know how to cook?"

"I mean basic stuff like coffee and microwave ramen."

"Coffee and ramen aren't meals. Come over here." He motioned me to join him. "See look at what I'm doing, you had this packet of ramen in here right?"

I nodded.

"Well the secret is to never use the favoring, so instead we use--" he rummaged through a few cabinets and the fridge, "--onions, lettuce, and mushrooms. And if you want to get spicy, throw in some paprika or regular ol' black pepper."

He started by giving me simple tasks like slicing the mushrooms and onions while he readied the pan and noodles.

Who would have thought cooking would be a turn-on, I should have paid more attention in Home Ec.

After everything was chopped, he slid them into the boiling noodles and stirred.

"Can I say that I honestly didn't know I even had some of this stuff in my kitchen."

"Most people are surprised to know all the things they can make with just a little knowledge. Trust me, I only break this stuff out when I'm trying to impress a guy, don't worry I live off coffee too."

Dammit, that makes him hotter.

Soon the meal was complete and Elliot dished it out on two plates. He handed me one and moved to the little breakfast bar I had. We sat next to each other, silent and eating.

"That was amazing," I finally say after pushing the empty plate away. "We need to do this another time."

"Sounds like a date," he responded with a laugh in his voice.

"Are you ready to be back in your own body?" I asked.

"Yeah," he responded. "My original plan was much more convoluted before I knew that the man behind the mask was the coffee barista I had been flirting with the last week or so."

My face had gone red.

"Me too, I mean, I kinda knew it was you when you came in, so it wasn't a surprise. However, finding out you have a talking cat was a terrifying experience."

"You knew it was me?" Elliot turned to face me, cocking his head in one direction.

"It wasn't hard. You do realize that I was able to pinpoint your hair from a mile away."

"Wow, you must really like me."

I smiled. Oh, he had no idea.