Isabel and the Beast - Alucard

Chapter 7: Under Pressure

TW: Reference to sexual assault

After Sypha and Trevor left, our familiar routine seemed to slide back in. Except I noticed that Adrian would find more reasons to touch me. I'd wanted to learn more of the cooking side, and while dicing shallots he'd moved behind me, carefully wrapping fingers over mine, and showing me a safer and more efficient way to dice it, curling my fingers under, knuckles closer to the blade, so I didn't accidentally slice off my own finger tips instead. Little things like that. I pushed my luck as well, not entirely sure what the goal was. I didn't want anything to happen, I don't think - He was my boss, for all intents and purposes. I was a captive of sorts. Nothing could be right about anything happening between us. It was just nice, though, the sometimes-friendly contact. One night I couldn't sleep and came down the stairs into the library and swear I saw his face light up and moved in place on the lounge, sitting up so I could sit closer. I'd curled up against him, head on his shoulder, while he read from the histories of Wallachia book in his lap.

When he'd finished the chapter and set the book down, I sat up to look at him. "You bandaged up my shoulder the first night I was here. And you made an antidote for a poison just like that."

He looked at me blankly, waiting for me to get to the point.

"You have so much knowledge here at your fingertips. It could help so many people...I..."

"That's not how this works," he said calmly enough, but there was an ice to his tone that should have shut me up right there. Should have.

"Why not?" I asked, frustrated.

"My mother was human. She was a doctor. Why a lot of this is here," he said. "They burned her at the stake. Called her a witch. Because she used older knowledge held in these books. They killed her for helping people because they couldn't understand. And every time I've tried to help people...It's nearly gotten me killed, too."

"You helped me. And my brother. And the other villagers."

He didn't say anything, but picked up the book and moved to put it away. "So...because it worked a couple times, I should just keep doing it and hope that luck holds out?"

I stayed quiet a moment, thinking about it. "I would want to help as many people as I could."

"And they'd eventually kill you for it."

"Maybe. I don't know that. But how many people might be saved before that?"

He turned from where stood, opposite the room from me, to glare at me. "That's the stupidest thing you've ever said. Throwing your life away for people who would never do the same for you."

"You don't see the good in anyone. Not everyone is out to get you."

He let out a dry laugh at that. "How can you be such a naive little girl?"

I stood, anger burning in my chest. "I'm naive? I saw my family ripped apart by monsters. I fled with my brother and had to make sure we had food and shelter when we had nothing. I -know- people can be horrible. So few do anything out of kindness. I was nearly raped by a man that I thought had been kind enough to give my brother a ride in his wagon to a nearby city, just to wake up with him on top of me. -You- wouldn't even help me without demanding something in return. You sit here, safe, in your castle, while the world falls apart. It's easy for you to forget about the suffering. You don't have to worry about anything."

He stepped closer to me, stopping to tower over me. I should have been afraid, but I was just angry. "You have no idea what I've done for humanity. And for nothing. How simple it must be for you to volunteer the services of others when you're the furthest thing from useful yourself."