39 | hiraeth

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hiraeth [ hir • raeth ]
n. the homesickness for a home to which you cannot return, a home which maybe never was; the nostalgia, the yearning, the grief for the lost places in your past

It was thing one as he gripped my neck, squeezing the life out of me. I began to claw at his hand as he held me against my father's door. My pulse was slowing down as oxygen began to become difficult to suck into my lungs.

"Adrian, Otstan' ot moyey docheri, seychas zhe!" My father shouted just as he dropped his grip around my neck. My body fell to the ground in a thud. Thing one turned away from me to look at my father who had been coming towards us. Anger was clear on his expression to the point that I knew I was in deep trouble
[ get the f*ck off my daughter now ]

"I caught her coming out of your office,"Adrian stated, turning stone-cold once again. He was looking straight out in front of him as my father finally walked up to the both of us. I had decided to dramatize not being able to breathe as I held onto my neck and really 'focused' on getting air to my lungs.

I could feel my fathers eyes burning holes into me right before he turned to look at Adrian. "Ty dolzhen byl priyti ko mne. V sleduyushchiy raz, kogda ty vozlozhish' na neye ruki, ya tebya ub'yu."
[ you should have come to me. next time you put your fu*king hands on her, i will kill you ]

"Prosti, boss," Thing one said before walking back towards the place that my father had come from. I continued to overplay my choking as my father bent down to be exactly eye level with me.
[ i am sorry ]

I looked over at him with a small tear in my eye as he narrowed his eyes at me. "I've been really trying to believe you this entire time, Orabella. So, tell me why you really went into my office and do not lie to me."

I knew that it had to be something believable. If I gave him the whole 'I was looking for you' he would see right past it. He would be curious as to why I went in. My head was spinning trying to come up with a quick enough answer that was believable.

Turning back on my acting skills, I looked away from him before allowing a sob to move past my lips. "You're never going to trust me again."

My father looked at my curiously before turning my head towards him. There was a soft look in his eyes as he stared at me. Once again, I wanted to believe he would change. Then the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he has always been a liar. He had lied to me from the second I was born. He named me Orabella after a woman who he so brutally raped and murdered's baby. He said he was blurred out, but I'm sure that part wasn't included. If he were so blurred out, how could he have known about the baby's name?

"Try me, Orabella," he said. When he said my old name, I had to fight so hard behind the battle of not flinching. My mind was full of puzzlement on how he could say that name so effortlessly. It was a name that didn't belong to me, but he seemed to love this fantasy of me being another woman's daughter.

"When I was at Mr. Rossi's mansion, I overheard people speaking. Sometimes, when I locked away in a room, some of the guard would wait outside of it. So, I would place my ear against the door just to listen. One man brought your name up one day and spoke of some video taping. I don't know what came over me, but I thought you would've had it. Daddy, I'm so sorry," I cried out, throwing my arms around him.

He wrapped his arms around me once more as he began to rub circles on my back again. When I pulled away, I could see the slight amount of fear in his eyes. He knew exactly what video taping I was referring too. I'm sure that the fear came from knowing how close I could've been to finding out the truth. He turned away again, preparing to lie.

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