This Isn't Wonderland

Chapter Nine

It's Tuesday and I'm sitting in Barbara's Subaru with my head rested against the door window which has rain droplets racing towards the bottom on the other side. We're on our way to see Dr. Anns and I'm honestly beyond tired. I've been up all night thinking and thinking; I fell asleep in three full periods today, half of two, and all during lunch - Holdon nor Jaclyn woke me up, thank God. I let my eye lids close and soon I'm falling into a deep sleep. Immediately.

In what seems like two seconds after I close my eyes, I feel my body being shaken so I widen my eyes quickly and am fast to react as I sit up and cross my hands over my chest as if to block myself. When I see it's just Barbara standing at the open door, relief fills my body and I sigh. She says nothing as I get out, wrapping my jacket around my body tightly.

The two of us walk out of the parking lot and towards the semi-tall buildings that has various businesses and work areas. When we get to the floor for people going to Therapy, I begin to feel my heart speed up as my nerves take over.

When the two of us walk in, I look around the room, hoping it's empty, but it's not. In the corner sits a man who is curled up into a little ball looking around the room frantically. When the door behind me shuts, his ears perk up and he looks over at me with so much fear. He points and begins to talk to himself. I quickly look away, though Barbara is slow to.

Barbara and I sit down far away from him and I pull out my phone, quickly texting Jaclyn that I'm at therapy. She doesn't reply by the time Dr. Anns walks into the small room. He smiles at everyone in the room; the terrified man, the lady at the counter who is checking papers, and then Barbara and I.

Barbara is first to stand up as she walks over and shakes my therapist's hand. I stand back near my seat, watching every move. "Hello Dr. Anns." She greets him, making sure to puff out her chest and brush her hair over her shoulder. I look down at the gorund, not wanting to see anymore.

"Evening, Mrs. Jones. Cary, are you ready?" I hear him ask. I don't bother to shake my head as I walk past him and my mother and the scared and frustrated man. I wait by Dr. Anns door and rub my eyes.

Once we are inside and my mother has finally torn herself from my therapist, I quickly sit down and put my hands underneath my thighs.

Dr. Anns sits down as well across from me. He's wearing a gray suit like usually and his beard is still there and his hair is still brown though it seems to be gaining strands of gray hair. His eyes look tired and strained as if he had been crying. I wonder.

"So, Cary, how have you been?" He asks, crossing his legs as he leans into his chair and looks at me. I shrug, "I've been..." I say, and when I'm about to say okay, I realize I shouldn't because what happened to not feeling?

I decide to walk around his question.

"My best -and only friends- have taken a new person into our group and...well I don't like it. When I first met the guy I despised him and now my friend Jaclyn is going to homecoming with him which is in about two weeks. It's quite annoying and I don't understand why my friends like him. The guy - Sydney- is so ugh. Frustrating! It's irritating. And now I have to homecoming with them and I don't know how I feel about that because dresses and gatherings are not my things." I say, and when I'm finished, I notice that I'm now on the edge of my seat.

The whole time I am ranting, my therapist is nodding his head. When I finish, he switches positions and sighs. "That's a toughy- do you have idea as to why you don't like this kid- Sydney was it?" He asks with a raised eyebrow. I look down at my pants before back up at him.

"Well," I begin, "He's just so...weird. He was quite rude to me when we first met and apparently I was too but that's only because I tell the truth and not everyone likes that apparently."