This Isn't Wonderland

Chapter Ten

Leaving the hospital was something I'd never thought I would do.

Alive, at least.

I always pictured myself leaving this building in a casket or something; not in a wheelchair that is going in the direction of our car.

I screwed up; I'll admit that. Whether it's the bad coke I snorted or just my life in general, I'm not a smart person. I guess I've always knew that. I have also always known that I'd get caught some day what with the multiple drugs and self harm. I just thought that when I was caught and everyone found out the truth, that it would be too late. 

Not this time.

It was cold outside; not that I expected any different. I was no longer in a hospital gown nor the clothes I wore yesterday. Barbara was actually decent enough to leave and go home to get some clothes for me; thankfully she didn't go in my room, she got some clothes from Nia. I saw that look that flashed across Nia's eyes when my mother came back into the room with a pair of pink sweats and a black shirt and pink jacket from PINK, Victoria Secret. Though it was quickly went away. I gave her props for acting like she was glad she could help but granting me with clothes - to borrow, that is. I would never wear these things again and at one point I considered keeping the hotel gown but I already had the stench of sickness and cleaning tools stuck in my nose so I didn't want to be reminded anymore then I already was.

The fact that I'm in  a car right now on my way back home to our apartment is...well...a surprise for me. No matter how I would've begged or pleaded, I honestly thought that I had a one-way ticket to the horrid Riverwood Hospital. 

I actually wanted to hug Clark a million times for not making me go, even though he thinks it would've been the best decision. And maybe it would have been; I'm hoping I never have to find out.

I've heard and read about the horrible things that happen in those hospitals; the pills, the classes; the people. I'm not set for those places, I'd rather die. Then again, I'd rather die then do most things.

Or at least I would have a couple days ago.

Now I'm not so sure.

To say we left the Hospital without anything is a lie. We left with more prescriptions, I'll now have to visit that place once a month for a checkup, and I've recieved addiction patches and medicine for that. They were going through an awful lot to help me and as I should be grateful, I was confused.

Why go through so much to help someone you don't know?

Then again they're doctors, they help people for a living.

My throat has gotten better though the taste of medicine rests on my tongue and breath. I want to puke. That was the most stressful time of my life; even more then the time I hung from my window with death pulling me by my feet.

Nothing tops that.

In the car, everyone was quiet. My stomach growled rather loudly at one point and I saw my father gulp as he opened his mouth and began to ask quietly if I wanted any food. I did. I really did. For one of the first times in a long time, I want food. But he never finished his sentence, so I didn't answer. Deciding to chew on my lip and look out the window at the passing builings instead of asking for food.

Next to me, Nia actually wasn't on her phone. Neither was Barbara which was a surprise. 

The four of us haven't all been in a vehicle for quite some time. 

"Sorry for making you miss school." I whispered as loudly as I could, my throat still hurting more then I would wish. There was pain everywhere, mostly in my mind though. I couldn't stop thinking.