Percussionism

Chapter One- Sax Man

All my life, music has been my talent. Not singing, but music specifically in the form of instruments. When I listen to music, whether it be rock or pop, electronic or classical, I'm listening to the guitar, the horns, the piano-

The exposure to music I had as a child was great. I would play all of the "regular" instruments. My family owned a piano, my dad had a guitar, my mom plays clarinet. And like I said, those were my favorites. I like to listen to the instruments that play the melody! 

So no, I never gave percussion a second thought. It's really not there for a reason. We could do without it. I mean, what does it really contribute? 

So I, Alex Heffron, am going to learn the saxophone this year. I'm finally going into sixth grade and I'm eager to join the band. Of course, the instrument I'll be playing will be the saxophone. Who doesn't love an attractive man playing the epic sax? I'll be a lady magnet. I'll be the Sax Man if you please.

School, though. Ugh.

"ALEX WAKE UP!"

"Coming, Mom," I grunted, as I pulled my blankets over my head and sank deeper into my pillow. I began to doze off. My mother was coming up the stairs- crap- I jumped out of bed just in time to start yanking on a pair of sweatpants hurriedly. My mom looked at me suspiciously.

"Did you just now get up?" she asked me curiously.

"Nope, I got up wh-"

I yawned, feeling the urge to collapse mid-sentence.

"Ah-HA!"

I groaned jokingly before throwing on a shirt and trudging downstairs. I showered and ate breakfast before grabbing my backpack and hoisting it up onto my shoulders. My mother and I left for school.

"So, they take you through your classes today?"

I nodded. Today was the first day of sixth grade. Of course, I was most excited for band class. I couldn't wait to get into the saxophone. I did have to weigh my options, of course. I mean, if I end up not liking sax, I could play trumpet. Or tuba. Or baritone. Or flute. Or clarinet. Or French horn. Or trombone. 

Not percussion, though. I hate drums. And keyboards. And any percussion instrument.

"How would you feel playing percussion, Alex?"

"Mom, I dislike each and every one of the percussion instruments. You know that,"

She responded curtly. "Ah, but you love the piano."

I nodded enthusiastically. 

"Piano is a percussion instrument, you realize that right?" she said questioningly.

"I- w- no!" I sputtered. I fell right into her trap! How could I be so blind? I groaned again. My mother pulled up to the middle school. It was intimidating somehow. I slammed the car door and plodded up to the front door. I waved goodbye and stepped inside.

After getting lost a few times, I found the band room. I walked in as the teacher took attendance.

"Alex Heffron?" he called.

"Here," I replied. 

I sat down next to my friend Molly. 

"Hey, loser," she said.

"Howdy, dimwit," I replied.

"What instrument are you thinking of doing?" she asked excitedly as we bumped fists. 

"Saxophone. Or anything, really. Just not percussion."

"Oh. Well, your loss. I'm totally doing percussion," she said.

I sat in disbelief. She just made a serious difference in my life. Top Ten Anime Betrayals style.

Later that day, I had brought a form home to my father. I had already marked alto saxophone, all he had to do was sign his name.

"Hey, dad? Can you sign this? It's for my instrument in the band."

He looked it over expectantly. 

"Why didn't you choose percussion?" he asked. I was getting tired of this.

"Dad-"

He cut me off suddenly. "Son, it's the cheapest option. And the best. Trust me-"

"Don't say it-"

"Trust me, son-"

"Dad-"

"Chicks dig percussionists," he said loudly, overlapping my protests. 

Great. He said it.

"Listen, you'll be happier doing percussion."

"Dad."

I looked at him seriously. He sighed. 

"Whatever you want, kid," he says.

He scrawls his signature across the page. I walk away happy.

"I'll put it in your backpack later, Alex!" my dad called over his shoulder. For a second I thought I heard a slight scribble of a pen. But I dismissed all other thoughts. I focused on my impending FAME!

I bet you expected me to say doom. 

Ah, the wonders of the middle school band.

I was going to be the Sax Man, I thought, grinning to myself.