Medical Emergency

Fire, Fire

@ emilynmarchesi Thanks for a great night @ grayscalepa! I'm so happy I could be there! 

@ crazykat Are you and Collin dating? 

@ xoJessxo @ crazykat for real? Wtf. Tell us

My twitter and Instagram are blowing up with notifications and pictures of Collin and I at the show last night. Everyone has pictures of us after Tommy's Song and me sitting on stage with Collin. Our first public display of affection in front of an entire crowd. And honestly, I'm okay with it. We all agreed on how this would be. 

"Hey!" Liz is in the kitchen making pancakes. "Want some?" I shake my head. "Too much sugar." I head to fridge and make some eggs. Our elevator dings and two tall, dark haired boys saunter out. "Hey you." Von grabs Liz, kissing her softly in the kitchen. "How can I help?" They start making pancakes together while I work on my eggs. Collin sneaks up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "What's up?" He says, his head on my shoulder. "Making eggs." I say pouring them into the pan. He grabs the spatula and cooks the eggs for me. I hop up and sit on the counter, watching him. He grabs a plate from the cabinet and puts them on. "Eat up." He hands it to me. "Damn Walsh...you know how to cook eggs." He hops up on the counter next to me, taking a fork to the eggs. I finish it and start cleaning the dishes. 

"So, you wanna do something today?" He asks. "Like what?" I ask, scrubbing the eggs off the pan. "I don't know, we could hang here, watch a movie or something? It's pouring out so there's not much to do." I nod. He walks over to the couch and turns on the tv, I walk over, grabbing his hand. "Bedroom." I say, he grabs it and follows. He looks at my room, he's never been in this one, the new one. He walks over, looking at the books lining my shelves. He grabs one. Milk and Honey. The one he wrote in. "Let's read this instead." He sits on my bed, leaning against the bed frame behind him. He wants to read with me? I slide in, his arm around me. 

"I do not need the kind of love that is draining, I want someone who energizes me" He reads.

"I know I should crumble for better reasons. but have you seen that boy, he brings the sun to its knees every night." I read. We take turns back and fourth, reading the words on each page. His scribbles on random pages, I still hold them close to my heart. 

"How can our love die if it's written in these pages.." He says, sitting on it for a moment. "It is, written within these pages. This book is ratted and torn, the spine barely holding on. I can tell you've read this more than many of your other books, and I've added to it, strategically of course." He jokes, I chuckle. He sits up and turns to me. "I just want to tell you that, I'm happy." "I am too Col." He smiles. "I want you, all of you. It's selfish to ask, and I know the situation, and I'm 100% okay with it, but I want to know when he's coming, so that I don't accidentally run into him. I don't think I can know what he looks like. I don't really want to know when he's here because I know what's happening but I just have to live with it. I know I'll get to see you more with you living here and not there, which makes me happy. And all I want to do is make you happy." I smile, I pull his face to mine. "I love you, I do. We will make this thing work." He looks down for a minute. "Just try not to break my heart." I watch his eyes, he's begging the pain away. "I promise. The only heart that will end up broken if this doesn't work, is mine." I grab the book from his hands and find a page to read. 

"Do you know why I love you Collin?" I flip through the pages. He looks at me. "Because you want me. Do you remember a show in Upstate New York a few years ago? You were outside talking with Veno?" He nods. "I was there, I was sitting on the curb behind the van, waiting for Liz to find her keys inside the venue. She begged me to wait around to see if she could meet Von, she had a crush on him, even back then. He was her ultimate crush, and you were mine."