fly {tk} ✔

7 | relationships and real feelings

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Jeongguk couldn't sleep. With Taehyung in his arms, he felt like a million firecrackers were exploding in his chest. Was he just horny?

No, that wasn't it. Jeongguk recognized horny. He didn't recognize this.

He glanced at the sleeping boy beside him, taking notice of the straight nose, the smooth skin, the long eyelashes. It was undeniable that Kim Taehyung was attractive; the whole campus knew that, but. . .

Had he always been this irresistible?

Jeongguk shook his head. Taehyung made it very clear that he wasn't interested, and he had to respect his decisions. Besides, he didn't really want to do it himself. One night stands were only temporary, and, for some reason, Jeongguk wanted their relationship- no, friendship, Jeongguk- to last.

But, stupidly, in his head, "relationship" sounded better.

He knew his tendencies; he can't stay committed- he liked flying without boundaries, and relationships would tie him down, but, on the other hand, how can he stay just friends with someone like Taehyung?

Wouldn't he just be unhappier, holding himself back?

Perhaps relationships, love, and commitment weren't Jeongguk's things, but. . . maybe. . .

He could try.

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It was daytime, but there was no bright sunlight shining into Jeongguk's eyes. The sky was slate gray and streaked with white, and fat snowflakes were still drifting to the barren ground.

"We're still trapped, huh?" Jeongguk muttered under his breath.

Taehyung hummed in confirmation. "I'd say for at least one more night."

"That's a pity. We'd only be able to ski for four-and-a-half days."

"Right? I practiced for this trip," Taehyung pouted.

A laugh escaped from Jeongguk's lips, and he looked at the other, eyes bright with amusement. "How does one practice skiing without snow?"

"Balance," Taehyung said seriously, "Balance is everything."

"Actually, I think skiing is more about control," Jeongguk remarked, "balance is nice and all, but once you get faster, control becomes more important."

"Okay, I get it. You want to brag." Taehyung scoffed, setting his mug of hot chocolate down on the coffee table. "But I'm not that bad at skiing, honestly."

"I'll believe it when I see it," Jeongguk shrugged.

A comfortable silence ensued, and a few minutes passed before-

"H-hey, Jeongguk, what are you doing?"

The younger just tightened his hold on Taehyung's waist and nuzzled his nose into the back of his neck. "Back hugging."

"Uh, why, if I may ask?"

"Don't you remember?" Jeongguk rested his chin on Taehyung's shoulder, eyes twinkling as his lips neared Taehyung's ear. "I said I'm always open for free hugs."

"Yes, but. . . uh, why right now?"

"Because you look cute."

"Jeongguk. . . ," Taehyung pulled away and leaned against the counter tiredly. "I'm not interested."

The younger pouted and tilted his head playfully. "Not interested in what?"

"In being," Taehyung breathed out, "one of your play things."

Tension suddenly stretched between them, and Jeongguk felt a stab of hurt.

"My. . . play things, Taehyung?"

Realizing the impact of his words, Taehyung's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. I was flustered, that's all-"

"No, no, it's alright. I'm just. . . ," Jeongguk trailed off and hesitantly met Taehyung's eyes. "Is that how you think of me, Tae?"

"No! Not at all! You're a good person, and I'm sure you would never hurt anybody intentionally. But. . . you do sleep around a lot. . . ," Taehyung avoided eye contact and looked down at his hot chocolate, unsure of what Jeongguk's reaction might be.

"Do you know why?"

Taehyung's head snapped up. There's a reason?

Jeongguk leaned into the wall and offered a sad smile. "I'm scared of commitment, Tae. My parents used to have really bad fights, and so, I got this image of. . . toxic relationships in my head. I'm over that now, but I still have a fear of getting into a serious relationship. 'Sleeping around' has helped me. . . maintain a sense of freedom, and it did help me out of a slump last year, but. . . ,"

"But. . . ?"

"My heart is telling me to try. Relationships, I mean. And," Jeongguk raised his eyes to meet Taehyung's gaze. "I was hoping to try it with you. But, if you're not interested, I completely understand. I'll back off if you feel uncomfortable."

When no response came, Jeongguk let out a dejected sigh. "I shouldn't have forced anything on you when you already made it clear that you're not interested. I'm sorry."

"W-wait."

Jeongguk paused and tilted his head expectantly.

Taehyung took in a nervous breath. "Actually, I had a crush on you."

"You did?"

"Yeah, last year. But, at that time, you weren't looking for a serious relationship, so I made myself push my feelings away," hesitantly, Taehyung stole a glance at Jeongguk for his reaction. When the younger's expression softened, he hastily went on, "and, maybe, I didn't do that great of a job, because my feelings. . . my feelings haven't completely disappeared."

Hope blossomed in Jeongguk's chest, and he felt his lips start to stretch into a smile.

"But," Taehyung added, "I'm not sure if I can trust you. I understand that you're willing to try, but, what if I'm not enough? What if you become unsatisfied and move on?"

"There's a reason I'm willing to try with you, Taehyung. I've never had this feeling with anyone else before, and that, by itself, should mean something, I think."

A few minutes ticked by before Jeongguk received a reply. It was short, curt, and hesitant, yes, but simultaneously, everything Jeongguk was hoping for.

"If you're willing to try, then I guess. . . I am, too."

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this story is nearing an end :')

sorry, no smut

we are holy in this household