After The Road Trip

15

It's been a week now. Two days ago Ryder was put to death and it hurt. I felt in my heart the moment he died. I felt a piece of me die. I wish it never happened and he just stayed in prison forever. Today I am feeling better. I woke up with Emma asleep next to me. She stayed tonight because I wasn't feeling so great yesterday. I still haven't told her it was because I'm pregnant.

"Morning beautiful" Emma whispered as she turned to face me with her morning smile.

"Morning" I replied as I bit my lip at the beauty in front of me.

"How you feeling"

"Good. Thank you"

"Maybe it was the chicken" Emma suggested refering to the meal I prepared us all.

"Oi! It wasn't the chicken" I huffed as I glared at her for assuming it was my cooking.

"Sorry. It still may have been something you ate" Emma chuckled as she moved a strand of my hair behind my ear.

"It wasn't" I confidently said as I placed my hand over hers while it sat on my cheek.

"You know what it was"

"Yeah"

"What" Emma asked chuckling a little as she didn't believe I did.

"I recon you can guess. I've had this four other times in my life" I replied giving a small hint as to what I could mean.

"A cold?" Emma questioned with a confused look at what I was talking about.

"Who only ever has a cold four times" I asked now looking at her as if she is stupid.

"Right... Give me another clue"

"Only happens to women"

"A period? No that happens more than four times. I don't know" Emma sighed in defeat as she laughed and rolled onto her back.

I giggled at the stupid girl and crawled up to rest my head on her chest. We looked at each other with a loving smile. One that always cheers me up. I wrapped my arms around her body and smiled brightly.

"I pregnant" I finally said as I bit my lip to hold all my excitement. Emma's face then dropped. She sat up causing me to do the same. "This is a good thing. I umm... I was wondering if you'd be the baby's mum as well"

"What?" Emma quickly asked as she now snapped her head towards me with a look like I was crazy. I just looked shocked that she gave me that look. Emma looked back down and had her thinking face on. "What about Ethan? He's the dad. Not me. Won't he be involved"

"Of course but I want"

"Well then if he's involved you don't need me as a parents" Emma quickly cut in just looking at the bed like she was going to freak out.

"I want you to be involved though" I softly said as I placed my hand on her shoulder and smiled reassuringly. Emma looked at me with a face full of terror. I slowly moved my hand and let my face drop. "Unless you don't want to be involved"

"I can't be a mum. Are you crazy" Emma asked as she started getting out of the bed in a panic like motion.

"Crazy? It's not like I'm giving you a child to look after on your own. I'm asking to start a family with you. Yes it's sooner than planned but I fucking love you and I want a family with you" I said as I sat up onto my knees and reached out to grab her hand.

"This is all going so fast" Emma replied as she pulled her hand out of mine and stepped back a little.

"I didn't plan this. I got pregnant 2 months ago with Ethan" I huffed in annoyance she is treating me like this.

"Then have the baby with Ethan. I can't be part of it. You're moving way too fast for me to keep up" Emma said looking worried and stressed as she paced across the floor.

"How am I moving too fast? I didn't plan this" I snapped now finally getting out of bed in anger at this.

"Talking about us living together. About us getting married. About us being a family and now a baby. I can't. I can't do all this" Emma replied as she started getting really stressed and annoyed by everything.

"All of them I said IF! IF WE DO THAT! Shockingly when I left my loving husband for you I thought we would have a happy life and family together" I snapped as I stood in front of her to stop the crazy pacing.

"I want that but not yet. All of this happened so fast. I've never done anything like this before. I've never been in a relationship before. Now this" Emma replied as she grabbed my shoulders and looked in my eyes like I'm crazy.

"Fuck you Emma! I gave up everything to be with you"

"I didn't ask you to" Emma cut in with an angry tone as she let go of my shoulders.

"YOU DID! You begged me and begged me to pick you! So I did because I loved you and you promised you'd raise my children with me and be with me forever. That's why I picked you. The fact your trying to run now proves why I didn't want to pick you" I snapped as tears struggled to escape my eyes.

"I love you and I wanted you to pick me because I'm crazy about you but all of this is too much. I've never loved anyone before. I've never done anything like this before. Then suddenly your having a baby and want me involved. I can't. I love you but I can't do this" Emma said in response as she gripped her hair and paced again.

"Are you" I started but felt a feeling in my throat. "Are you" I tried again but felt it again. I was going to be sick. I put my hand over my mouth and over my stomach. "I'm gonna puke" I said as I rushed to the bathroom in my bedroom.

I made it to the toilet and began throwing up. It kept coming and coming. I don't think my stress helped it. After mountains came out I finally stopped. I forgot how shit pregnancy is. I stood up from the toilet and wiped my mouth. Walking out the bathroom to finish our argument. She wasn't in the room. I looked around confused until I heard my front door shut. My heart sunk to the pit of my stomach as I realised what just happened. Emma ran away.