After The Road Trip

21

It's been two days. I realised the yesterday that I left my phone in Emma's car. Ethan phone her for me and she is going to drop it off today. Right now I'm just sat on the sofa with Ryder. The house is quiet because the kids are at school. Thank god.

"Hi beautiful boy. Yeah you. You're so cute" I said to the little boy in my arms because frankly I got nothing better to do.

I looked up at my screen to see friends on. Ross and Rachel just had their first kiss in the coffee shop. It reminded me of mine and Emma's though I don't know why. Speaking of the devil. My front door knocked. I stood up still holding Ryder and walked towards the door. As I opened it I saw Emma with a small smile at me.

"Hey. How you feeling" she asked as her eyes travelled all over my body then landing on the baby.

"I'm good. I'm back to myself now with a few hormones still" I replied as I gently bounce the Ryder to keep him calm.

"Here's your phone. Sorry about that. I didn't realise you threw it into the back" Emma said with a slight chuckle as she held the phone to me.

"Neither did I" I laughed allowing her to join in more. Our conversation seems so much more fluid and calm now. "Do you want to come in? You can hold Ryder if you want" I questioned knowing she still wants to talk about everything.

"Yeah thanks" Emma replied as she stepped in and closed the door behind her. I carefully placed the baby into her arms before relaxing mine down. He's definitley the heaviest I've had. "Ow Gina look at him. He looks like you the poor thing"

"Oi cheeky" I replied as I slapped her shoulder causing us both to laugh.

"I'm only kidding. He's beautiful" Emma said as she looked at him with so much love.

"Come on" I said as I began walking towards the lounge. I sat on the sofa and she next to me. Still looking at the baby. "I feel I owe you an apology"

"For what" Emma asked now glancing up at me quickly.

"For snapping at you like that when you came to apologize. I was angry and very hormonal. I'm sorry" I said trying not to make it obvious I hate admitting I'm sorry.

"You also slapped me"

"You also deserved it"

"I know and you don't have to be sorry about anything. I'm the one that fucked up" Emma replied with a chuckle at the beginning.

"Here. I'll try put him down for a nap and we can talk in the kitchen" I said as I held my arms out to take the baby.

"He's already asleep" Emma replied while placing Ryder into my arms.

"How? For a new born this kid hates sleeping. He doesnt sleep ever. I swear" I asked in shock as I know I may be exaggerating but Ryder barely sleeps.

"I just cuddled him up and he went straight to sleep" Emma replied looking at me confused.

"Maybe he's finally making up for all the lost sleep. I dont care. You got him to sleep so thank you" I said with a smile and a chuckle as I led my new born into his cot. I grabbed his monitor and led the way to the kitchen. "Have you eaten lunch"

"No not yet. I was going to grab something from the corner on my way to work" Emma replied as she found home on her usual stool at my island.

"I'm making a sandwich. Would you like one"

"Yes. Thank you"

I made us lunch in silence. Neither of us knew whether to talk or not. I sat at the other stool and gave her a plate.

"Enjoy" I said finally breaking the silence.

"Thank you" Emma replied with a smile as she took a bite. "I think it's time we finally talked"

"Yeah. Keep this calm though or we wont get anywhere" I replied not sure whether I'm telling her or me.

"I want to start of by asking if you spoke to Ethan" Emma asked as she looked at me a little nervous.

"Yes. He explained everything and I'm fully aware that I get the last word" I replied knowing I'm not in the best mood with him after that.

"You see though. It's scary when your in a new relationship and suddenly a baby is on its way. I have never had a mother that loved me and gave any sort of shit about me. I've never had anyone give a shit about me or love me. I didn't understand how I'd be able to be a mother when I never had one" Emma softly said as she reached out and took my hands in hers.

"I understand that. Of course I understand that... but I never said you couldn't say no. I never said you had to be a mum. I simply asked. You could have at least been there as a friend for me but you weren't. You just left while I was throwing up" I said taking my hands from her grip and facing down the whole time.

"I didn't know what to do. I thought if I said no you'd hate me" Emma sighed now finally standing up to be closer to me.

"and what you think running made me love you? I did hate you because you ran and you broke my heart doing so" I said trying so hard not to tear up in the moment.

"I know and it broke mine to run but I didn't see another option. I love you with all my heart and I have since you kissed me at the bar during our road trip. I will always love you" Emma softly said once again taking my hand into hers.

She places a small kiss against the back. Then another on my arm. She kissed all the way up and to my neck. Each as soft and slow as the last. Once at my neck I moved my head a little to give her more room. She kissed up it and to my cheeky. I then felt her lips kiss just next to mine.

"No Em" I whispered as I moved me head a little before she could kiss me.

Emma gently moved my face back and kissed my lips. This time she didn't pull away. She lingered and waited. I couldnt help it. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her body closer. Deepening the kiss instantly. I missed her so much. I hate that I'm doing this though. She stepped between my legs and placed her hands on my lower back. Thats when I pulled away quickly.

"Gina I-"

"No! You don't get to come here and kiss me like nothing happened. The truth is Emma as it stands. You broke my heart and I don't know if I trust you not to do the same again. Please just go"