PIGGYBACK|XXXTENTACION

Vol.7

Jahseh woke up that early Sunday evening with a strong headache. He could hardly sleep, the neighbors had been keeping up a ruckus from the big party taking place that night. What a coincidence. Now everybody would take the 24 hours to sober up and get ready for the hard laboring weekdays ahead.

Dreadfully, Jahseh tossed over with the palm of his hand resting on his forehead. A large sigh of morning breath exhaled from his dry lips tiredly. At this point, he didn't wanna get out of bed although his clock displayed 11 A.M. He could already hear the kids from across the street playing outside. Jahseh made silent wishes to walk up towards the window and tell them to "shut the fuck up".

"Damnit. . ."

The throbbing sensation in his forehead increased as he sat upon the edge of the bed. Jahseh walked himself towards the bathroom after taking the time to pull himself together, a slight ringing in his ear wailed about. The feeling of his bare feet touching the cold tile couldn't possibly make things any worse. He wouldn't be going anywhere soon if he didn't take care of that situation.

Downstairs where the kitchen was occupied, Cleo clanged pots and pans while Aiden ran around the house freely. She sang to herself with gospel playing softly in the back of her head. The smell of eggs and toast roamed its way from room to room, upstairs and downstairs.

Cleo could say she slept well unlike her son - she picked Aiden up early that morning from his grandmother's house, and Jahseh still hadn't come downstairs. The food would soon be set out on the cleaned kitchen counter with silver forks and spoons to accompany.

"Jahseh come on down and eat!", She called.

♡

Jahseh and Aiden sat side by side at the dinner table with full plates of steam. Their 8-month-old baby brother sat slumped in Cleo's lap, mouth watering at what he learned to be "food". After they said grace everybody had begun digging in. Cleo glanced over at Jahseh tiredly stuffing food in his mouth as she grinned to herself. She had a few questions in mind and didn't hold back trying to get the answer.

"So, Dwayne. . ."

Jahseh looked up, still chewing his scrambled eggs thoroughly before speaking. "Hm?", Jahseh hummed. His bushy eyebrows raised in unison, waiting for a response. She took a long sip of her iced coffee and the freshly salon treated nails released from the cold glass. Ice clanged against the jar as the table made contact.

"I haven't seen you with somebody in years.", she teased.

Aiden heard his mother bringing up the conversation and didn't like the sound of it. Somehow his brother could get a girlfriend, but he couldn't. Cleo almost spanked him the last time he mentioned having one.

"Momma how come he can get a girlfriend and I cant?!"

The first person Jahseh thought of had already been Giovonee. He didn't like that at all. It's all he could think about. Even last night, he dreamed of things he'd only mention to god. Jahseh somewhat felt guilty for providing her sources of unholy sites. Even then he knew he'd have a bad feeling about it later.

"Well, your brother's a young man and when you're one we can see about it then.", Their mother lectured.

"But-"

"Let him speak, Aiden."

Aiden slumped down quietly and obeyed. Jahseh waited for their conversation to cease, watching king make a mess of his tiny plate. He adored him.

"I haven't been looking.", Jahseh lied.

Cleo took a second to pause - thinking her son might just like men. "Well if you're interested in other things you could tell me, Jahseh.", the woman smiled dearly. No, she wouldn't like it but she would like to find out herself although.

It took a second for Jahseh to catch on. His jaw slowly stopped functioning, eyes widening from the surprise of being asked if he was...homosexual. His face scrunched from even contemplating of him and friends sharing a kiss. There he already knew the answer.

"Fuck no!", Jahseh retorted.

Giovonee took another verbal beating by her father while her sister giggled to herself from the other room. She tried her best to grip all laughter, on the phone with her friend muted so she could hear too.

"Do you actually think I want to be recognized this way, Gia? At this point, I might as well tell the entire neighborhood I'm raising an autistic child! You don't even have a job and you sure as hell don't have a car!"

Warm tears steadily rolled down her polished cheeks. She couldn't comprehend why her father resented her with such hatred. In the back of her head, there was still that mentality which understood. The unhappy her, the confused her, the one who finally found a quiet place within herself. This is why she didn't like going to Florida. This is why she just couldn't find a way to love her father the way she should.

His voice softened yet still rang of frustration and despise, "You're almost 18 now...when are you gonna finally change?".

A businessman loved by everyone, but a father to an unwanted child at home. A man who distracts himself from problems at work. He was married to his job for all he cared. Humiliated with his family's decision as to what should be done. He'd rather have a fresh newborn baby to start over with, a new beginning. Yet so close-minded but thought he knew it all. That was her father. All her father. Anything but a real man. Drunk the whole night away if he could when the memories of his ex-wife seemed to fade.

Giovonee looked down, fiddling with her fingers like she always did in distress. Her mouth quirked to the side. Those lips of hers stammered to question "Do you love me?" as she did before and many, many times ahead.