In A Hopeless Place

Chapter 14

I look out the window and notice how dark it was outside. Zayn was sitting out there. He's been out there for a while. He must be thinking. 

I looked around and saw that the gang was just having some fun playing a few games and just acting like... well... a family. Something that I would have never expected them to be.  

I take a deep breathe and make my way quietly outside.  

I take a seat on the grass right next to him and cross my legs.  

He doesn't say anything and just continues staring out into the darkness.  

He hasn't even spoken another word to me after I told him about the Harry thing.  

I sigh and start picking at the grass. Why is that? Whenever you sit down on the grass, you just have to pick at it?  

"What are you doing out here?" His voice startles me and I look over at him, but he still wasn't looking at me.  

"I don't know," I mumble. "I just... I saw you and thought I'd sit here with you. You looked lonely." He finally looked at me, but a bit weirdly, almost like he was looking for something.  

"You sat here because I looked lonely?" He asks and I nod. He chuckles. "You sure are different, Carter." He shakes his head and a small grin was on his face, but it was slowly fading. "Why didn't you fight today?" 

"It didn't feel right." I shrug and look down. "You guys were the first gang I've ever fought with... it wouldn't be right to fight you. I would feel like I betrayed you. Plus, I knew that if I did something wrong... Harry wouldn't be happy with me and he would..." I trail off and Zayn tenses. I cleared my throat. "He would be mad." 

He brings his legs up and rests his elbows on his knees, letting his forearms and hands dangle. He nods, but I could tell that he was still a bit tense.  

"Why did... why did you kick me out?" I ask him hesitantly. He shrugs.  

"It's best for you." 

"How?" 

"You have a family who is looking for you and who love you very much." I scoff and shake my head and try my hardest not to laugh sarcastically.  

"Why do you do that?" 

I look at him. "Do what?" 

"Scoff every time I mention something about your family." 

"I don't have a family." I state plainly and stare straight ahead of me. I could feel his stare on me, but I don't look at him. "What family is looking for me? Lisa and David?" 

"You call your parents by their names?" 

"They aren't my parents!" I snap defensively and he looked taken aback. I sighed and run my hand through my hair. "Sorry, force of habit. Lisa and David are just... friends... not even that." 

"Then who exactly is looking for you?" 

"Paul... Lisa and David..." I say and I could tell that he was confused.  

I really didn't want to tell him my life story, kinda like how he doesn't want to tell me his.  

"They don't really care like they want me to believe. They're just some stuck up people who will eventually give me up... just like how everyone else did."  

His face changes from confused into one of realization. Why did I always have the feeling to tell him everything.  

"So, they're your foster parents?" He asks and I nod. "For how long?" 

"About three months now. I don't usually make it to the seventh month," I tell him.  

"You know, I find that hard to believe," he whispers after a moment.  

I look at him, but he wasn't looking at me.

*****

"Well, you're in the gang now..." he whispers along my neck.  

My breathing increases along with my heart rate.  

I swallow.  

I don't want to be here.  

I want to got home.  

I want to be with Zayn.  

"Please, don't..." I beg. He chuckles and I scrunch my face with disgust from the smell of his breath, a mixture of alcohol and smoke. 

I whimpered as he kissed down my neck and he slaps me across my face. Tears immediately springing into my eyes.  

"I'm going to do whatever the fuck I want to do. So, shut your fucking mouth and then you won't get bitch slapped again. You got it?" He threatens and I nod.  

His kisses are hard and rough and I could feel him lifting up my shirt and throwing it to the ground.  

I shut my eyes and bite my lip as an attempt to hold back a whimper.  

He gets to my pants and that's when the scary part happens because I'm aware of what he's going to do to me.  

"Carter!" He shouts and I get confused. 

He's kissing me, not shouting my name. The voice didn't match either.  

"Carter!" My pants go further down and that's when I screamed. I'm breathing hard, sobbing, and shaking with fear.  

I'm suddenly being pinned down and I struggle to get free.  

"Carter!" He shouts again. "Carter!" Again.  

I sob and cry for help. I try to push him away from me, but his grip tightens and his face is inches away from mine when I realize...

*****

"Carter! Carter! It's me, Zayn! It's me!" 

I stop struggling, but I'm still shaking and panting. I'm still crying and sobbing. I look at him and he lets out a breath.  

"Carter," he breathes. "It's me..." 

I take a deep breath. I've never felt my heart pound so hard in my life.  

"It's just me," he whispers and lays his forehead against my sweaty one.  

I can feel myself starting to catch my breath and my sobbing starting to lessen. My shaking dies down and my heart rate was returning back to normal.  

I find myself wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his collarbone. He strokes my hair. "It was just a dream," he coos.  

"But it wasn't. It really happened," I whisper and a sob escapes my mouth. He continued to stroke my hair, trying to calm me down. "How did you know that I was having a bad dream?" 

"I heard you scream the first time." 

"Stay with me. Please?" He nods.  

"I will." He lays down next to me, bringing me closer to him and rubbing my back. 

I study his face and he notices the bruises on my arms and he traces them lightly with his fingers. 

I shiver and start to feel my eyes drooping. I didn't want to go back to sleep, but I couldn't fight it anymore. 

Zayn's face was the last thing I saw before falling into a peaceful slumber.

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Hey guys! SO WHO ELSE SAW ONE DIRECTION ON X FACTOR LAST NIGHT?! I was literally dying. I was screaming and crying and my mom told me to shut up. Then at school, where I was emotionally unstable, I found out that one of our vocab words was Harry and I started convulsing. I was still upset that I couldn't go see the boys on the Ellen show. They are like an hour away and I can't see them :(  

Anyway, how are my beautiful readers? :) 

Comment, Vote, Fan!!! 

-Abby xx