In A Hopeless Place

Chapter 17

I can't sleep.  

I keep seeing Harry's face in my mind. I'm scared that he's going to come back and hurt me.  

I can almost hear his voice, feel his slaps. I've never been hurt like that by a man before.  

I lay back down and try to relax so that I could control my rigid breathing, but I jump up and almost scream when I see Harry's face again.  

I shake my head and get out of bed. I walk out of my room and head down the hall. I open the door and poke my head in.  

I see Zayn laying in his bed and realize that he's awake when he turns his head to look at me as I peek inside. He gives me a confused look.  

"Can I stay with you?" I ask him in a small voice. "I can't... I can't sleep." He hesitates, but nods and I walk over slowly. I have a fear that Harry, or even the dead Nick, was going to jump through Zayn's window and attack me.  

I crawl into Zayn's bed and stare at the ceiling. "You're scared," he says and I turn my head to look at him. "You're shaking." 

"Does Harry know where you live?" I ask him timidly. Zayn furrows his brows and shakes his head. "Okay." I relaxed a little bit and Zayn wraps the blanket around me, but I still felt a little paranoid. "So, he can't find me at all?" 

"No, he can't," he reassures me. I can't tell whether he was confused or concerned, but I chose to drop the subject. "I won't let him touch you." 

Zayn rolls over and hovers over me and I felt completely protected from everything and anything.  

"You're not going to ignore me again tomorrow, are you?" I ask as I close my eyes. I grip onto Zayn's shirt when I see Harry's face reappear again. I feel Zayn press his lips against my temple.  

"I don't want them to know," he whispers.  

"But what if we're alone? Besides, it wouldn't give away anything if you said something simple to me." 

"Goodnight, Carter," he says, but I didn't want to sleep. I was still afraid of what could happen while I'm asleep. I don't even know why I feel so scared. I guess the nightmares were getting to me. "I'm right here. Don't worry about anything." 

I nod, but don't fall asleep. I look up at Zayn and see him staring down at me. "I can't. What if he..." 

"He won't." He rolls over and wraps his arms around me. Now, I felt relaxed, protected, and safe. "Especially not with me in the room." He smirks and I smile at him. I nestle my head into his shoulder and I finally find myself falling asleep after a bit.

-----

I'm already angry with Zayn.  

Guess what he's doing? That's right. Ignoring me.  

"Are you ready for tonight?" Danielle asks me.  

"Tonight?" I ask her confused.  

"Yeah, Harry called on a fight. By the way, what's up between you and Zayn?" 

"What?" 

"Well, he keeps ignoring you and you look pissed about it." 

I sigh and shrug. "I feel like an outcast. He always ignores me without a reason. It's starting to bother me." 

"He's confusing." 

"I figured out that much," I tell her and Zayn enters the room. I could feel the tension in the air and crawl up my spine.  

Danielle looks between the two of us before shrugging her shoulders and taking a bite out of her apple, then walked out of the room.  

I look away from Zayn and feel his arm brush against mine.  

"Hey," he says gruffly and I ignore him. "Are you not talking to me?" I don't respond. "I'm sorry, okay?" 

I turn around and scoff at him. "Sorry? Stop ignoring me! You think that everyone will get suspicious about us, but by ignoring me you're making them suspicious!" I snap at him and he sighs. "You said you wouldn't ignore me." He doesn't respond. "And you didn't tell me about the fight with Harry and his gang." 

Zayn looks at me. "How did you find out?" 

"Dani. Why didn't you tell me?" 

"You're not going, so what's the point?" He shrugs nonchalantly and leans against the counter.  

"What? Yes, I'm going!" 

He shakes his head. "No, you're not. Last time you got shot and when you were with that gang, shit happened to you." 

"Why won't you let me be apart of this gang? You keep treating me like an outsider and you make me feel like the weak link." 

"Well, maybe you are." I scowl at him and he looks down before looking back up at me. "I don't want you getting hurt." I roll my eyes and cross my arms. "Carter, you're not going and my decision is final." 

"So, you're just going to pretend that I'm not even here? Like I'm not even apart of this gang?" I ask. He hesitates and nods.  

"Right. You're staying here," he says and I know that he wouldn't change his mind.  

I give him a glare before walking away from him angrily.

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Hey, guys! Sorry for not updating yesterday. Basketball season started and it takes up most of my time. After practice, I'm too tired to even update. So, I'm sorry if I don't update on my updating days.   

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-Abby :) xx