Sherlock X Reader One Shots || 𝐹𝐿𝑈𝐹𝐹 + 𝑆𝑀𝑈𝑇

"You Have A Lot Of Explaining To Do" ((Final) 5)

Trying to hide the fact that this had made his stomach do a backflip, Sherlock nodded. "Okay. It's cold, though, so you should get in the bed first."

Y/N visibly wavered. "I'm scared that if I do, once I've told you, you'll kick me out."

Now he was scared. What could she possibly have to say that makes her think he'd ever do such a thing? "You didn't... kill Tom, did you?" He asked, not really believing that she had (and yet still mentally crossing his fingers just in case). Wouldn't it be typical if his best friend turns out to be a murderer?

Thankfully, Y/N's worried expression briefly dissolved, giving way to a nervous giggle. "No, no, no, nothing like that." She crossed the room to the bed, Sherlock's heart in his mouth as he watched her.

He'd imagined her doing that God knows how many times. Now it was happening, but not in the way he'd envisioned.

The mattress dipped in a pleasing way as Y/N climbed onto it, Sherlock thinking he should move up to give her more room but not really wanting to. It's amazing how simply having someone else---having Y/N---in his bed made it instantly more appealing. He'd been struggling to sleep for weeks, and yet he felt that if he laid down right now, with Y/N's scent filling his brain, her warmth caressing his skin, he'd probably drift off within a matter of moments.

"Sherlock...you know how I hadn't been on a date in a while?" Y/N was fiddling with the sleeve of her pyjama top, picking at a loose thread.

Sherlock stayed silent, letting her continue. He sat up properly and crossed his legs so she knew she had his full attention. Whatever she was going to say was obviously bothering her. He wanted her to know that if she had a problem, he would solve it. He wanted her to know that if something was weighing her down, she could put it at his feet and he'd carry it.

"Well, I told you---I told myself---that it was because I needed to settle into my new life, but that's not true. The truth is... I didn't want to find someone else to fall in love with."

"Someone 'else'?" Slipped from Sherlock's lips before he could grab it.

Y/N had her gaze fixed on a point just to the left of Sherlock's knee. "Yeah. I'm already in love with someone. I've been in love with him for a while, but he won't feel that way about me. I haven't told him yet because I don't want to ruin the relationship I have with him."

'I know that feeling," Sherlock thought to himself.

"I hoped I could just...ignore my feelings for him. I tried to move on by going out with Tom, because he'd be good for me, but the whole time I was there I couldn't stop thinking about the other man. Every time Tom did anything, said anything, I found myself mentally comparing it to the man I'm in love with." She laughed damply at herself. "Like, he stood in front of me when he kissed me on the cheek to say goodbye---" If she noticed Sherlock tense she didn't mention it. "And all I could think about while he was doing it was how my eyes lined up to the wrong place on him. It sounds stupid, I know, but it was then that I properly realised I can't ever date someone else while I'm still completely obsessed with this man."

Sherlock turned this information over in his head several times, examining it like it was a bomb he wasn't totally sure how to diffuse. On one hand, he wanted to help Y/N, of course he did, the thought of her being in any kind of uncomfortable position physically pained him. But on the other, she was in love with another man---obsessed with another man---which was so much worse than her date with the barley-acquaintance-Tom that the very thought of it made him want to have a fatal aneurysm. "Okay."

"I didn't really know what to do about it. I mean...I can't spend my whole life pining over him, and yet I can't stop doing just that. I ended my date with Tom early; I didn't want to string him along, obviously. I explained why it would never work between us and he was really understanding and supportive. We talked about it as we walked around the park a few times."