FADE

TO SURVIVE THE FADE RACE, YOU HAD TO KILL OR BE KILLED

     I remembered River Creek, he had the wildest forest green eyes, they were mischievous, if you looked hard enough you'd see flecks of blue and under the right light you could see bits of brown and silver. He was beautiful, he was breathtaking, he was perfect with the brightest smile and sweetest words along with the most complicated brain works ever. River wanted to see the world( which didn't exactly make sense since he was rich enough to make it happen, but I guess that was the problem). River hated the money, he hated the comfort, he hated the distance between his parents and he hated the distance between him and the world even more. He was an unsteered boat, and back when we were kids I liked to think I was his anchor, I kept him from drifting, I thought I could bottle him up and keep a secret, away from the rest of the world anything that would take him away from me, a sweet treasure. I thought he was mine, but River was nobody's.

I could remember the terrible feeling that ripped out from deep inside when the posters of a missing River had been posted all around summerhalts. His face was on every newspaper, every news station, River was gone!. He had left me to go explore the world and I knew because he was River, you couldn't catch him, he was danger and he was sweet, the sort of thing you got addicted to,but he was gone.

I knew he couldn't be here, or at least I hoped he wasn't, I tried to imagine him now, somewhere in this terrible place, in a tiny cell just like mine. I could see him, his labored breathing and his clenched fists, forest green eyes filled with tears of frustration and maybe just maybe mind numbing thoughts of my death, but as soon as the image appeared it disappeared.

I didn't want River to be caught, I couldn't kill him at least I wish I couldn't.

Images of River replaced those of Richard. I could see the life seeping out of his eyes , I could see his blood on my hands, I could see myself snapping his neck, I could see myself plunging knives into him, slicing through his pretty olive skin. I could slice his head clean off his neck, somehow thinking about him always involved his death. I wondered who he was in love with, If he was as thirsty for their blood as I was for his, this was the insanity.

I don't know which was worse, wanting to kill him so badly or the intense feeling of love I felt even as I thought of killing him. I guess I knew it was always him.

RIVER RIVER RIVER RIVER RIVER

I wanted it to stop...

"Faye"

I couldn't breathe, I turned around to meet the blue orbs of Oscar Gates, the boy I used so many times to get my grades up, I almost felt bad, but whatever apology I was going to conjure up remained lodged in my throat as I spotted the words on his arm.

FAYE KNIGHT

in bold letters, there, right there, my name. It was petrifying to stare at someone who loved you, who had the uncontrollable urge to kill you.

so I ran.

I mean off course I ran, there was really no other option.

I understood it now, the fade race, they kept us all on a large open field, unchained but unable to leave it's boundaries until thirty minutes was up. We could kill one another, this was as civilized as it gets.

I could hear him behind me, taunting me. It was chaos, it was survival, all around me everyone was running, some had been caught already. I wanted to burst into tears, I couldn't die, I didn't want to die, I couldn't die.

I ran , even though my legs hurt, and I was sure I was about to collapse I kept running , I could feel him right behind me, I pushed people, jumped over their remains of people who were already dead, all the while trying to block out people's terrified screams, trying to block out mine.

I didn't know where i was running to, there was nowhere to hide, no where to stop and breathe, I was too slow his hands were firm and tight around my neck as he pulled me back. His eyes were glazed over, a smile gracing in his features as he stared at me...

I couldn't breathe, I literally couldn't breathe.

I was going to die.

I was going to die in the hands of Oscar Gates, the sweetest boy I've ever met, naive, he was naive, this wasn't Oscar, not anymore, It was a monster, a monster.  I clawed at his hands, kicking and scratching, till we tumbled to the floor, his hand still firm around my neck, I didn't stop,he let go of my neck letting his fist come down hard. I couldn't feel my face, I could feel blood pooling my mouth, I grabbed the nearest thing to me, a stick.

He was smarter, he butt headed me, i couldn't breathe, I could hardly see.

"I'm sorry" he whispered" I don't want to kill you, I have to, I-I can't stop, I'm sorry Faye, I love...."

He didn't get to complete it, I let the stick hit his head hard. He was beneath me now, I didn't stop, I brought the stick down over and over and over and over again letting the end hit his head. My cheeks were stained with tears and maybe just maybe Oscar Gates' blood. Harder than the time before I kept hitting him, I couldn't let him live. Mumbling my apologies through choked sobs, I watched as Oscar Gates' lifeless eyes stared back at me mumbling it's own apologies.