I watch as the tears spill over and down his face. The face I've grown to know so well over the past 10 years.I know his heart is breaking but what can I do? I know that part of me still does love him but not like I used to? Nor in the way we both deserve? The way we both need. Could we ever get that love back? Could we ever go back to the way it was before Fin? Could I learn to love him like I used to? No. As much as it breaks my heart for him the answer will always undoubtedly be no. How could we ever go back when my heart belongs to someone else. It has to be now or I know I'll never walk away. I know that if I don't do it now I'll stay to try to save him from himself but I can't do that any longer. For once I have to put myself and my needs, my wants first.
I take his face in my hands, wiping the tears away with my thumb. I kiss the side of his face and clear my throat trying to push back the tears I've been fighting all morning. I try my hardest to recall the words I've practiced a thousand times in my head, the words that would finally end our life together. No more apologies, no more breaks, no more tries, this time would be the last, this would really be the end. I open my mouth to speak but nothing's there. My mind goes blank. I watch my hands fall to my lap in slow motion as the tears finally win the battle falling from my lashes. There's no pointing in fighting them now.
I can see Danny's heart breaking but that doesn't stop him from taking my face in his hands forcing me to meet his eyes. The same eyes I spent years looking into somehow look like a strangers eyes filled with sadness and despair. Looking into them now it's hard to believe they used to be filled with so much love, so much joy, so much hope. It's hard to believe there was a time we really were truly happy, but that was so many years ago. We used to have it all. We were so in love, we had magic, we were planning our happily ever after than one chance meeting and one drunken night changed everything. We lost it all, our love is gone now and there's no denying it.
"I know" his voice barely above a whisper "It's ok. You don't need to say it" he let his hands fall from my face as our foreheads come to a rest on each other.
"I'm so sorry Danny" I manage to say between sobs.
"No, don't do that...You have nothing to be sorry about" he said wiping away his own fallen tears. "If either of us should be saying sorry it should be me ok"
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves and look up. "Neither of us should say sorry...what we had was more than most people have in a life time. We were magic but the thing is some times magic fades." I pull back to give him a sad smile."That doesn't mean that what we had wasn't real at the time, it just means that it wasn't forever." I watch as Danny presses his lips to my forehead for one last kiss before standing to leave the room. I watch as he glides to the door stopping for a moment before looking back and me.
"But the thing is for me it is...I will forever love you Anna. You will forever be the love of my life and my biggest regret until my last breath will always be hurting you."
