Interstellar

The Little Dipper

Ur•sa Mi•nor [ur-suh mahy-ner]

(n.) Ursa Minor, also known as the Little Bear, is a constellation in the Northern Sky. Like the Great Bear, the tail of the Little Bear may also be seen as the handle of a ladle, hence the North American name, Little Dipper. This constellation consists of seven stars, with four in its bowl like its partner the Big Dipper.

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I left too early again, but what can I say, I guess I'm just excited to make my wish come true... though, I really don't wanna get caught on my way out so maybe, eventually, I'll learn (eventually being the key word there).

Though, after only a little while of waiting, he showed up. I heard him hesitate at the door after he saw that I was already there... almost as if he wasn't expecting me to have arrived earlier than he had.

I looked up at the door at the top of the stairs, almost like I was attempting to avoid looking at him as he trekked up the stairs at all costs. I don't know what had gotten into me, but, something as simple as looking at him seemed to be high-risk all of a sudden and I couldn't seem to pinpoint why.

Eventually, he met me where I was as I sat on the fourth-from-the-top step. He sat on the same thin, concrete one as I had been on, seemingly squishing us inevitably together. I looked at him and I felt this sort of heat wash over me, though, I refused to look away and stop it.

Thinking back to our first meet and spanning all the way across our so-called 'friendship' timeline, I can't really seem to find a specific moment where I realized I felt something different for him. I can't, for the life of me, find the first time I looked at him and felt that undeniably magnetic feeling. Though, I suppose this is as a result of yesterday having been the first day, after all these years, that I'd put all the signs together and truly seen that I'd fallen for him.

Now, somehow, I didn't know how to act. It was almost as if the realization that this feeling was something romantic changed my brain chemistry when I'm around him. I feel like I'm constantly worried if I look alright or if I sound stupid or if he's looking at me. It's terribly frustrating.

Here, though, I look at him through the dark and can't help but almost wish that he knew. We were, now, lingering in the stairwell just sort of lost in thought or whatever, and I almost wished it would never end.

"You, uh... you wanna head up?" he asked. I nodded, and we stood, making our way out into the warm, night air.

After being hit with the scent of the city and upon feeling the gentle breeze tussle through my hair, I realize that, hell, things like this are only gonna make my suppressed thoughts and feelings want to break free and I don't know if I can allow that to happen.

I walk towards him and leave my thoughts behind me, attempting to simply savor this moment in all that it was as I stood at his side.

He's looking up, up at the stars. I see them as they are, all that they are as they rest side by side alone- but also at them as they are together. As grand as they'll ever be on their own, the beauty that comes with being a constellation is so much more in comparison.

Is that how we are, then?

I was scanning across the sky, looking for some of the things I thought I could recognize... Orion, The Great Bear, The Little Dipper... but I felt this burning inside me that I couldn't seem to shake. It was like his mere presence was killing me slowly.

I look down at him and he was looking at me...?

I blinked and breathed in but, he didn't look away. It was real and I couldn't even imagine what was going through his head, though, I doubt it was nearly as inappropriate as what I was imagining.

Hell, I just wanted to grab him right there and- and then, what? I hadn't even thought any of it through, but I knew damn well it was something I wanted to do... it, somehow, just felt right. Like, even though holding him in my arms was cutting it close in terms of legality, I needed to do it.

I let my eyes linger across his face as he peered through my skull with those blue eyes of his, but as soon as I felt like we were finally getting somewhere, he looked away.

I suppose I thought all too soon.