Interstellar

Zenith

Ze•nith [zee-nith]

(n.) The point on the celestial sphere vertically above a given position or observer.
(n.) A highest point or state; culmination.

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My dad and Sarah finally agreed to let us hang out again, but they told us to never even think about trying to sneak out again if we knew what was good for us.

Yea, ooookay dad, whatever you say.

So, anyway, today at the park we decided that we don't really give a rat's ass what our parents say because sneaking out at night is too damn fun to stop doing over one little slip up. We just decided that the best solution is to be more careful about what time it is.

Tonight, I told Steve to meet me actually on the roof because, well, waiting in the stairwell wasn't exactly the safest in terms of staying hidden.

I waited at the edge where we always stood, just grateful that, upon looking up, it was the stars my eyes fell upon, rather than my ceiling.

I heard the door creak open and I turned my head to greet his smiling face with my own.

"Hey," I said, my voice lilting.

"Hi," he replied. "How long you been waiting for me?"

My whole damn life. "Oh, uh, not long at all."

"That's good, then," he continued. "It's a little cold out so, you know, I wouldn't want you to get chilly or anything."

"You know damn well if either of us is getting cold, it's you," I joked with him. Though, as he settled in his spot next to me and those words rang in my ears, I couldn't help but think about what happened last time he was cold and shivering on a rooftop.

I looked into his eyes as I snapped out of my daydream, noticing that his eyes were just as glazed over as I expected them to be... he was thinking about it too.

"Oh, shut up, I know," he whispered, looking up at the sky for the first time tonight. "It's so nice to finally be outside again."

"I was just thinking the same thing," I replied, a grin rippling my cheeks, but my eyes never wavering from the sky.

"This never gets old," he told me, his voice low and silvery.

I looked over at him as he looked up, wishing I could just tell him that I wanted to- ugh. It's no use. Someone like him would never even look at someone like me.

I gazed down at the railing we were both resting on. His hand was so close to mine, it was like I could feel the energy radiating towards me from it. I wanted to reach out... or at least brush my fingers across his and feel that same feeling I felt all those days ago when I fixed his shirt or just the other day as I touched his face, admiring his sunspots.

I just couldn't muster up the courage to act yet. I feel like I'm all words now, too... lilting my voice and seemingly flirting with him as if I'm just testing the waters when I know the only real way to figure anything out is to just go for it.

The wind rustled through his blonde locks in that instant and I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out. I moved his hair away from his eyes gently with my fingertips. He shifted to look at me, as if I was anything special compared to him.

My hand lingered on his jaw, somehow simply grasping for something - anything - on him. I felt myself pulling him closer... unless that was all him. He looked into my face like I was the night sky itself and as if my eyes, too, had been speckled with stars and ridden with galaxies.

God, I wanna kiss him so damn bad. For what? Well, something perfect, if not, simply, to risk a friendship for something more. But, was that all worth it? Were these minor feelings in my life something worth acting upon if it meant jeopardizing a ten year friendship?

My head is spinning circles around me because, damn, his lips look so- could they really be that soft? Well, I suppose there's only one way to find out, right?

I licked my lips and looked back up at his ocean eyes.

I can't do this.

I pulled my hand back and leaned away from him, realizing that this wasn't a risk I could bear. Losing him altogether wasn't worth it.

"We shoul-"

"Yea," he jumped in groggily. "Don't wanna be late again." I nodded, allowing him to lead the way towards the stairwell door as I followed closely behind.

We walked silently down the many, many stairs. It wasn't awkward, per se, it was just, I don't know, quiet. I messed this all up, didn't I?

He reached for the door handle and, almost instinctually, I quickly placed my right hand on the door in line with my own head, preventing him from opening it. I heard him let out a breath of air as I slowly moved my body closer. His eyes were closed and, as a result, I closed mine too... trying to feel this moment as much as I could, especially because we were already in the dark.

His back hit my body. I felt my muscles tense up, trying to prevent the inevitable from happening, you know, down there.

I let my left hand touch gently upon his side, cautiously moving around to the front of his body. I pulled him closer to me - as close as I physically could - and involuntarily moved my hips into him, as I was definitely starting to subconsciously react to our not-so-forgiving position. Hell, I'm sure he could feel it, too.

I brought my right hand down and touched it to his face, turning him around so he was now facing me and his back was pushed up against the door. We simply looked into each other's eyes and waited invariably. I could feel his pulse quickening and heard his breath grow to be erratic. I grazed my finger along his jaw, tilting his head up to angle at my own.

His tongue peeked out between his lips as he licked them, making me bite down on my own in fear that I'd melt right then and there. I moved closer and closer and closer before stopping just before his lips, unsure if I should allow this to go any further.

I could feel that his eyes had shut, though I let mine stay opened a little while longer as I looked down upon him.

His scent, that wonderful mixture of things I couldn't seem to pinpoint or pluck out individually, seemed to change for me. Surely it was the same, but it just stirred up something different in me this time, for whatever reason.

I closed my eyes and took a breath in, allowing our lips to brush up against one another before doing anything else. As I pulled back ever-so-slightly, his lips followed me, so, I kissed him for real. I allowed my lips to take his in and just barely line his upper one with my tongue for half a second before pulling away entirely.

His eyes flickered open and his cheeks seemed to glow red as he looked at me as if he was about to say something, but never did.

I opened the door and walked out, making sure he was right behind me. We both made it to our windows and looked at one another from across the hall for what felt like the longest minute of my god given life before we, finally, crawled back into our individual bedrooms to sleep all alone yet again.