Escaping Nemesis

III

"Nakuuu Aidee Morales, 'yan na nga ba ang sinasabi ko ehhh. 'Pag si Jonis talaga pag-uusapan, ewan ko na nalang talaga. Oh, diba kita mo na?" pagsesermon ng bestfriend kong si Kizi sabay duro-duro pa sa'kin. Si Eleira naman tutok na tutok parin sa ginagawa niya.

Kizi Suico. Petite. Natural blonde. Maldita at NBSB. We've known each other since pre-school. Madalas kaming mag-away kaya it's a question bakit bestfriends kami ngayon. Char.

Eleira Cuevas. Bestfriend since 5th grade. Unlike Kizi, Eleira's a little soft and chill. Balanced lang kumbaga.

Hell, but I'm glad they're here for me. Nasa lobby kami ngayon malapit sa stairs, medyo malayo sa room namin and this is where we usually hang out.

"Wala namang fishy sa pinag-uusapan nila buuuut clearly they enjoyed each other's company so kalma ka lang 'jan besh," sabi naman ni Eleira sabay bigay sa'kin ng phone ko. She offered to read the conversation between Jonis and Zela, to check for something suspicious but as what she said, negative. 

Still, that didn't made me feel less bitter. He never, NEVER missed to greet me especially on important days. Okay pa siguro kung insomnia kaya tinanghali na siya ng gising but he was on the phone until 3 am. Ni hindi man lang ba ako sumagi sa isipan niya the entire time? 

Natigil naman ako sa pag-momoment nang bahagya akng siniko ni Eleira sabay nguso. I turned and saw Zela and Drex walking towards our direction. Probably heading downstairs para magsnacks. I caught Drex's eyes but he looked away so I didn't mind them until Zela stopped right in front of me.

"I wasn't the one who started the conversation," she blurted out bluntly without even looking at me. Wow. Defensive much? I snorted.

"Well, hindi naman siguro aabot ng alas 3 pag isa lang yung interesado diba?" I answered and that made her turn to me. I'm not really like this but ang sakit lang kase. 

Before she could even say another word I butted in. 

"I know Zel, we've read it. I'm not blaming you. I don't even hate you. But you've been on my shoes a couple times now so alam na alam mo ang pakiramdam," she couldn't even look me in the eye. Drex gave me a look from behind. He knew what I said was right. Kasi madalas ako ang pinagseselosan niya. Naninikip ang dibdib ko, sumasakit ang lalamunan ko trying to stop my tears. 

"Yung feeling na sinasabi ng lahat na there's nothing to feel jealous about? Na kahit anong sabihin ng iba gumaan lang pakiramdam mo, ayaw eh. Yung selos siguro nawawala, napipigilan. Pero yung sakit?" 

With every bit of the strength left in me I tried to hold back my tears. 

"You know damn well it just doesn't go away." 

but I failed.

-----

Months passed. After that day, I decided to talk with Jonis and he went through hell trying to gain my trust back again. Si Drex, hindi na nangungulit. It probably was for the best. Strangely after that, Zela and I became a little closer. She's really good at playing the guitar. Halos lahat siguro ng mga classmates namin sa kanya nagpaturo. We even bonded in her house. I'd say that was progress.