LIED PROMISES

02 - Repentance

♡
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❝ In my ears stay our unheard whispers
And beneath my skin lie the colours of regrets;
Within my heart, are the reminiscences of us,
And feelings unsaid, lie underneath my breath. ❞

❅❅❅
♡

STEVEN

I still reminisce about the days when she used to be around, until one day when she was finally done with my bullshit. Even today, after twelve long years, I've whiskey as my only companion. Ah, I wonder why I could never comprehend that she was an angel in the demeanor of a beautiful, young girl, pure as gold, who did nothing but love me, in all the ways a woman could love a man, and all that I ever did was to hurt her in all the ways one couldn't even imagine of. Not to the one you love.

Sitting in this lonely cafeteria, all I could do was think about all the losses I had, with her picture in one hand in my mobile, and a glass of whiskey in another. My very own thoughts were the daggers to my heart. What if I would've held her hand back then, when she was leaving? What if I wouldn't have been such an asshole to her, and would've loved her enough to not let her go? I knew there wouldn't be any luck anymore, because my portion of all the good luck was finished when I'd had her, and if I couldn't keep a girl like her, how was I supposed to get better things in life?

I went over to her social media account, for the hundredth time in this week. Emma James Williams - he must've been a really fortunate guy, and a good-hearted one, who could woo away my Em, because once upon a time I'd made her hate love. I made her not believe in love anymore. How could she fall in love, all over again? How could she muster the strength? I never could. I am so detached, that I don't love my own self - I'm a monster, God knows I'm alive for my family's sake, and he knows devils are waiting down in hell to wallop me for everything I've done.

Suddenly, I heard an unusually familiar voice, the voice of the girl I'd been hopelessly dreaming about since all these years, and even all these drinks couldn't make me intoxicated enough to be oblivious of how beautiful, chirpy a voice she had.

Oh my god. It was the same melody. It sounded like a "hey".

I fumbled, and turned my head to lay eyes on the girl I am in love with - oh my goodness! I couldn't believe my eyes. Was I hallucinating? Was I day-dreaming again? I blinked my eyes in an attempt to clear off the dampness it contained, and gazed closer.

Em.

The love of my life, Em.

She was there - standing confidently, her beautiful, beautiful eyes fixing their gaze on me - this pathetic, annoying, ugly man, who deserved and achieved absolutely nothing in life. Her, she'd persevered hard, ever since I'd let her go out of pain, ever since I'd freed her soul from the claws of utter pain and melancholy that I made her feel. It was woeful, thinking that all I desired was to love her, and all I did was to hurt her. And today, she was at the pinnacle of success, as a Structural Designer, Artist, Blogger, Writer, and I don't know what more.

But, she'd been a wife too.

And not mine.

Aye, I curse myself for being so menacing to her soul, because I know, that she won't.

She'd been rather chubby in her college days, but very cute too. Well, to be honest she'd been among the cutest girls in college - I don't know how many guys must've been after her, and me, the luckiest bastard ever, got to keep her, but couldn't.