forever // ziam

[20] alive

warning: slight change of trigger

I lay on the couch watching TV then Liam stands in my view.

"Liam can you please move"

"No I want to talk"

"Fine" I hit pause on the TV, "What do you want to talk about that's so important?"

"The things we haven't talked about"

"Like..."

"Why I didn't tell you everything when you wanted to know everything"

"You said there was nothing else Liam"

"I lied"

"And that's why I kept asking until I got tired and saw you being broken"

"But I still have the want to tell you. It's been 5 months and I think I can handle it now"

"Well then go right ahead. I'm only going to stop you if I feel like you're scared"

"Okay. The reason I didn't tell you everything was because I was scared obviously and I also didn't want you to think different of me, and that you had to be protective of me and also watch my every move"

Now Liam is scaring me. What's he getting too.

"Liam--"

"No let me finish. Zayn I used to self harm. And that's why I wanted to avoid a relationship with anyone. Well.... until you came along"

This hits me like a shot to the heart. Imagining Liam putting that razor up to his skin and damaging what is beautiful of him.... just doesn't seem like him. The only thing I can think of right now is to hug Liam. To hug him and never let go.

"Liam I don't think all the horrible things i've done compare to that"

"I know. I'm sorry"

"No don't be sorry"

"Why?"

"Because you're still here. Breathing the same air as me, a beating heart pumping out blood, and a life that's unforgettable. You're still alive"