These Broken Parts

I Always Knew

The second the door closed behind them, Cynthia Murphy came running in from the kitchen, grabbing Connor in a fierce hug. It felt so nice, so genuine, so... comforting. For the first time in years, Connor sank into his mom's hug and didn't let go for a full minute. When he finally pulled away, he found Cynthia crying.

"I was so worried when you didn't come home, after the last time... I just... I imagined the worst...."

Connor actually felt guilty for letting her worry. He mumbled an apology - his first sincere one in so long, it felt foreign on his tongue.

Cynthia hugged him again before finally letting go and stepping back. She stared at him for a long time, looking between him and Evan both. Connor could sense how uncomfortable Evan was, how much he wanted to flee.

And then Cynthia surprised them both. She reached forward and hugged Evan, too.

~*~*~

The clock ticking was the only sound in the room. Cynthia sat in an armchair on one side of the coffee table. Connor and Evan sat on the couch across from her.

Evan had to fight the instinct to lean into Connor, to grab his hand, to seek any kind of physical comfort from him. He didn't know how Connor would feel about that in front of his mom. Evan wasn't crazy about it, either, but Connor's touch was one of the few things that calmed him. In the end, as much as he wanted the physical comfort, he refrained. He sent furtive glances at Mrs. Murphy, but mostly stared down at the coffee table, his lap or the floor.

Connor, on the other hand, was staring at his mother, but not speaking. He didn't know what to say. His mom's reaction wasn't what he'd expected. He tried not to get too hopeful, though, just in case...

Cynthia had been trying to remain quiet, trying to let Connor work up whatever he needed in order to speak first. But it didn't seem like he was going to. Behind the steely look in his eyes, she could see the fear, as well.

"Connor..." she paused, making sure he was looking at her before she spoke again. "Connor, you're safe."

Evan flinched, his mind going back to this morning when his mother said the same thing to him.

Though they weren't touching, Connor felt Evan shake and immediately reached out to grab his hand, as much to comfort him as to assess his mother's reaction.

Cynthia smiled softly at her son. "You're both safe" was all she said.

Connor nodded. He didn't know what to say, so he just nodded.

~*~*~

It took a good 20 minutes for Connor and Cynthia to convince Evan to go up to Connor's room and call his mom. Cynthia assured him - in that way only mothers can - that he didn't have to reveal his secret yet. He just had to let her know he was safe.

Once they were alone, Cynthia finally spoke.

"I think I always knew. Deep down."

"How?" Connor's voice cracked, adding to his frustration. He hated feeling so vulnerable.

Cynthia shrugged, but not unkindly. "A mother just knows, I guess. It was little things. I was just... I wanted you to tell me yourself. I wanted you to feel safe enough to talk to me."

Connor nodded, breaking eye contact. "Oh."

"I'm here, Connor, whenever you're ready to tell your father." When Connor laughed bitterly, Cynthia stood and moved beside him. "Connor, look at me." Only once he had did she speak again. "I know what your father is like, but he DOES love you. I know it's hard to believe that right now, with how the last few years have been. But he does." She gripped his hand, and to her surprise, he gripped hers back.

"No one else knows," Connor admitted. It went without saying who he meant - Zoe and Evan's mom. "We don't want anyone else to know yet."

Cynthia nodded. "I still think Evan should tell his mom, but that's his decision. In the meantime, you both are safe here, with me, okay?"

Connor nodded, finally looking up at her again, actually making eye contact.

Cynthia smiled at him. She was about to speak again when Evan came back into the room. They both looked up at him.

Evan fidgeted uncomfortably. "She knows I'm here. I-I didn't tell her..." He paused. "I just told her we were friends and that, well, um, that I knew where you might be and that I was sorry that I, you know, ran like I did. But that I didn't want to waste time trying to explain it."

Cynthia stood and walked over to Evan, giving him another hug. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like. I can make us some lunch."

When Evan nodded, Cynthia glanced back at Connor, a small smile on her face, before going back to the kitchen to start lunch.

Evan shuffled back over to Connor, collapsing into his arms. He couldn't hold the tears back any longer. The last few days had taken everything out of him. Connor just held him and let him get it all out.