Mark had the breath knocked out of him as he was shoved against the wall of a nearby building outside of Jaebeom's view. He was shocked by Jackson's sudden appearance and actions, but honestly he was just happy to see the younger; he had thought for sure that it would take more time before he'd ever be able to talk to him again.
But Jackson was still angry, which was obvious through his scowl and rough behavior.
"Jaebeom? Seriously?" He asked.
Mark blinked, still trying to pull his thoughts together. "What?"
"What the fuck is that about? You've never been close with him and now suddenly you are; you want to complain about me and Jinyoung but then you go off and do the same thing."
The elder shook his head at the assumptions Jackson was making. "We were just... talking..."
Jackson scoffed at the response. "Oh, so you can talk to him but not to me? Are you honest with him but just lie to me all the time, is that what I'm worth to you? How could you do something shitty to me and then just move on so fast? And you just stand there wondering why I'm so pissed off, well take a good guess, , Mark."
the younger's emotions felt all too familiar. Mark knew exactly how he felt. "You're... j-jealous..."
Jackson nodded. "Yeah I am, and I at least admit to it, not do sneaky things to try and tear relationships apart."
"Jackson I said I'm sorry-"
"A billion times already, it's not cutting it. Mark you make everything so fucking difficult..." The younger male ran a hand through his hair in frustration. He leaned against the wall beside Mark, his arms folded over his chest. "What is so bad about liking me? Why can't you stand the thought of having feelings for me?"
Mark shook his head. "I-... I didn't say-"
"There's a lot of shit you don't say that I've been waiting to hear for two fucking years, and you wont even give me the decency of being honest." Jackson spat. He was running on rage at the moment, so of course talking to him calmly was a bit difficult.
"Jackson..."
"Is it really that difficult? Why? Are you embarrassed to like me?"
"Jackson no!" Mark finally cut through Jackson's rant, refusing to allow the younger to believe that he was embarrassed of him. But now Jackson was looking at him expectantly for an explanation, and Mark had run out of lies to tell him. At this point, after all he's done, the one thing he owed Jackson was the truth. He couldn't hide away from it anymore, as the longer he tried, the more he hurt Jackson and himself. "I-I... just didn't want to admit it because... it's scary and I don't think I deserve you."
Jackson blinked, taken aback by the legit answer he received. He calmed himself slightly, taking on a much softer tone compared to the yelling he'd done. "But... why not?"
Mark took in a breath, his eyes glued to the ground as he mustered the courage to express himself.
"B-Because, I've treated you pretty badly for a while now so... it just felt like you were blindly in love with me despite how shitty I've been, and I didn't want to end up hurting you. But then Jinyoung came along, being all nice and perfect; I could see why you liked him instantly. That made me nervous, I wasn't ready to lose you so fast, but I also wasn't ready to accept the truth..." Mark shook his head, needed to take another breath to keep his eyes from welling up. "And now after all this... there's even more reasons why you're too good for me."
Jackson had completely softened by the time Mark had finished, his eyes now less fierce and more gentle than they had been during the past few times they talked. "Mark... I like you, and I'm willing to admit it honestly. I've admitted it to you a thousand times by now, I don't understand why you still don't get it. I do joke around a lot but I don't play with feelings; I liked you before, and I still like you now. Even if you never liked me back, I was fine with that. But I would never try to break apart your friendship to save my own feelings."
