Deathfish

Watermelon Head and Peanut Butter Brains were slumped up against a soda stained couch on the soda and cheese stained floor of their bedroom staring at an enormous television screen.  The video game they had been playing for the better part of eleven hours was in the process of loading and being downright congressional about it.  "I'm soooo bored," WH complained. 

"Me too.  I wish this lousy game would get it's worthless, no good, pain in the left and right butt cheek, act together," Peanut whined.

"As a free man In a democratic republic this side of the Spanish Inquisition I find  this sort of thing  entirely unacceptable.  I demand to be entertained,"  exclaimed WH raising a fat little finger to the sky as he did so.

This much excitement seemed to exhaust them.  The two portly ones sat in silence for what seemed like  an eon.  Eventually Peanut offered, "Oh, I know what I could do to entertain us.  I could tell a spooky story."

"Mmmm-kay.  Proceed," said WH, content to put up with his brothers nonsense if it would distract him from that faithless computer game.

"Have you heard the story of the 'Deathfish'?"

"Deathfish?  What is the Deathfish?"

Peanut got a very concerned look on his face and in a very serious tone said, "First I have to tell you, this is a true story.  My friend Dusty saw it with his own eyeballs.  Now, the Deathfish is a beast that lives in an unabandoned midsized brick building in the deepest recesses of an upscale neighborhood near the mall."

"Oooh.  Sounds creepy,"  WH said under his breath.

Encouraged, Peanut continued, "The Deathfish uses this brick building as a base for unleashing it's vile horrors on it's helpless victims.  Dusty swore on his soon to be dead grandmothers grave that screams and howls can be heard coming from the facility night and day.  Although, usually  between the hours of 9am and 4pm.  Survivors report they have seen such atrocities as; needles shoved in god fearing peoples mouths, drills aimed at neighborly faces, teeth ripped out of civil minded skulls.  All true, all true."

WH shuddered.  "Sounds horrible.  I can't believe I've never heard of this before.  Someone should call the duly appointed authorities."

"The police?  The police are in on it!"

WH released his salt encrusted grip on the game controller and grabbed Peanut by the shoulders, shaking him, "If half of what you say is true, we are living in a mid-apocalyptic nightmare!"

Peanut nodded in the affirmative.

"I still can't believe I've never heard this scandal before.   'Deathfish', what a weird monstrosity.  Are you sure it's called 'Deathfish'? Is that what your friend told you?"

"Um, yeah, I think so.   That's what it sounded like when he told me.  'Deathfish'... or maybe Deathfist?  Deepdish?  Yeah, pretty sure it's Deathfish."

WH responded skeptically, "Hmm.  I'm not sure if you've got that right.  Your memory has proven to be faulty nearly 100% of the time, and as for your friend Dusty, well your friends are almost always found to be contemptible liars."

Peanut gave a look to suggest he was about to be offended but in the end couldn't be bothered.  "Well it's something like that!" he defended.

WH wasn't convinced.  "I'm going on the internet and getting to the bottom of this," he said pulling out his phone.  "Hmm.  Starts with a 'D', drills teeth, hmm, okay."   WH looked up from his screen.  "Oh, do you mean 'dentist'?"

Peanut's eyes opened wide.  "Yes!  That's it!  That is what Dusty said.  Yes, the 'dentist'."

WH felt good about solving the point of the story that had bothered him so.  "Yes, dentist makes much more sense.  That is a word I have heard before."