Hidden Pride

Turn It Off

Today was the day I was going to get my sign. I knew what it was going to be already. John has already gotten his before I knew him and of course it was a rainbow. Everybody knew that, he was pretty open about it.

I took off my shirt and looked in the mirror. It was a purplish pink flag, this must be a mistake it's supposed to be black and white. I didn't know any of the flags accept the straight and gay flag. I opened up my phone and searched for a few minutes before getting my answer, I was in fact Bi. I heard the door open and I quickly put my shirt on trying to hide the flag.

"Happy birthday! I got you breakfast." John said enthusiastically. I smiled but noticed how John observed me trying to see my flag. "I'm straight, John." I said bitterly. I wish that was true instead of being this half gay straight bullshit. John nodded slowly clearly skeptical but left it alone. He left the room and I moved back to the mirror, I pulled down my shirt to show the flag.

The pink, purple, and blue was still there in all it's frustratingly horrible glory. Why couldn't I have just been straight? I mean I can always ignore it, but I've heard someone people get sick from doing that. Maybe I just won't talk about it. What is Jane going to think? She was going to ask, and I couldn't just hide it, not from her at least. I took a deep breath and decided to put that on the back burner.

I got dressed into a white colored shirt and black pants. I reluctantly walked out of my room and towards the kitchen. John was cooking something. Ringo and George were sitting at the counter top area and eyeing me down. I could tell Ringo and George were curious but too anxious to ask. "I'm straight, guys chill." George nodded and went back to reading something on his phone. Ringo looked at me briefly before turning away.

I sat next to them, I could feel my heart beat out of my chest. Thank god it was a Saturday, I don't know if I could've gone to work or school today. My phone rang, playing Hey There Delilah in the process, I knew who it was already, Jane. Shit. I stepped outside onto the porch. "Heyyy." I said trying to sound excited.

"Happy birthday! What did you get?" I just had to tell her the truth, she's my girlfriend after all. I moved farther away from the house and in a low voice said "I- um... I got bi." She didn't say anything for a few seconds before letting out a heavy sigh. "How fucking could you, Paul‽ You have to be kidding me right‽" I was confused on what she meant.

"What? Jane this doesn't mean I love you any less or want to go out with boys." I tried to be quite. Why couldn't I just be straight? This would be so much easier. "I don't want to have to share your attention with some boy." My heart was beating out of my chest, my breathing was becoming more shaky and uneven.

"Jane, this doesn't mean-" Jane hung up before I could finish my sentence. I tried calling her back but it went straight to voice mail. Did we just break up? Wtf just happened? I heard the door open behind me. "Hey, Paul you better eat your breakfast or else's it's gonna get cold." I turned around and looked at him.

"Love... are you alright?" I felt like I was about to throw up or burst into flames. I leaned over preparing for it just in case. "I think- I think Jane just broke up with me."

What did you think about this chapter? Have a good day! 💖