Photos of "Unrequited" Passion

Part 5: Raising the Steak

The work day ended, and most people started to leave, but i stayed back a bit to.... Avoid traffic. Big J left early, so I was just biding my time until more and more people left the office. I decided i was gonna swing to his house, stopping some crimes on the way so i could get some stuff started for later that night. I was hoping this wouldn't take TOO long, I had real Spider-man activities to attend to that had long been ignored. I was in my suit swinging through his neighborhood when a familiar yet antagonising voice called up to me. "Hey Spider-man, its been awhile since you've been down in this neighborhood." Something about him was ringing a bell in my brain, but I couldn't put a name on him. My spidey senses were telling me to run, yet I landed in front of him to talk. "So, about that peter parker-" Suddenly, memories of highschool came rushing back to me. He was Flint, one of Flash's friends who would bully me. "-wow what a loser. Do you know Peter Parker?"

"Oh uh. No I don't, the name doesn't sound familiar."

"Oh he's a big fan of yours, if you know what i mean. That guy was always repressing his homo feelings for you back in high school, everytime we'd mention you he'd tense up."

At the thought of me being turned by myself, I physically repulsed.

"Yea he was kinda a weird kid, kinda an asshole too. I mean, me and my buds always tried to hang out with him but he just hid in his locker. What a weirdo. Flash was pretty mean sometimes but phew, peter was a douchebag."

"I'm sure he wasn't, he might have just been busy or shy. Maybe he also had things going on in his life that were stressful and causing him to act that way."

"Nah, you're crazy Spider-man you're crazy. Thats why youre so cool, unlike stupid Peter Parker."

"Oh well thank you, but I think if you got to know Peter a bit better, you might think he's just as cool as I am.

"That's impossible, Peter Parker could never be as cool as you Spider-man. You wanna be a person like Peter Parker, Spider-man? Thought so."

"WELL uh, I was heading somewhere very important and I need to get on my way---"

"Oh but i didn't even get to tell you about how one time, i walked into the boys locker room---"

"Goodbye, have a nice day!" I swung away, trying to forget about everything that just happened as I made my way to J's house. It was still quite the ways away, but I made it there in time. I knocked on the door, standing there in my full suit waiting for Jamison to answer. I hear, from the other side of the door as if he was standing there, him say "I'll be there in a minute!" Audible heavy breathing is heard from his side of the door, and it honestly is kinda creepy. After a moment of silence, he opens the door in a fast manner around the time he said he would, and practically screams "AGH happy to see you finally showed up! Thought your wall crawling menace ass was out causing more trouble for this city! That, beautiful luscious ass... A-ANYWAY, come in come in, we have lots of work to do in order to make those shots PERFECT." And so I walked in, him closing the door behind me. I looked around and saw a combination living room and kitchen set up. It was a fairly nice home, much better than my downtown apartment. The living room was framed with pictures of him, his ex-wife, and his KIDS?? I DIDN'T KNOW HE HAD KIDS UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!!!! "Triple J, you have kids??"

"Well, just one but technically two I guess. It's complicated. My wife and I split the kids in the divorce, so I never get to see him anymore. I still have sweet old Steakathy though."

"S-...Steakathy?"

"Oh I haven't talked about Steakathy to you? Come on, let me show you. You gotta be quiet though, I just got them to sleep."

I happily followed suit behind him, not knowing what came ahead. I always loved younger folks, but this... This was different. As I stepped into the kids room, I saw a crib and felt paternal feelings rise in me. That is, until I walked over, and saw a man shaped steak at the bottom of the crib. Thoughts filled my brain, but no one emotion prevailed as dominant. Confusion, disappointment, realisation of J's stupidity, and more flooded my body as I stood speechless. Jamison walked over, placed a hand on my back lovingly, and said "Aren't they beautiful?" I said nothing in response. I only just stared at what was supposed to be a baby, and I guess is a baby. It doesn't look like a baby, and it's definitely not beautiful. "I sure haven't seen anything like it"

"Let's head downstairs, we don't want to wake them up." And so we did. We made our way back to the living room, and as I sat down I took off my mask. Jamison gave a sound of disappointment as he said "Shoulda kept that on!" Then I mention I can put it back on later, and he mumbles to himself for a second. I ask him "What the heck was that??"

"What, Steakathy?"

"Yes Steakathy!!! You have a literal STEAK laying in a crib upstairs!!!"

"Yea that's how it started out too, wanted to incite a divorce between me and the wife. Made Steakathy but she ended up loving it. Divorce still happened anyway, unrelated to Steakathy. And now that little steak has grown on me, and I think they've grown too actually."

"You don't find any of this weird to you at all? Also, how long have you had that steak???? You said you had it BEFORE the divorce??"

"Oh this is all VERY weird, but i don't think i can give up on Steakathy now. They've been in my life for four months now and I don't think I could go without them."

"Well uh. I, admire your dedication to your... child?"

"Thank you Spider--- Parker! Now, let's get to that private lesson, eh?"

A blush grew across my face as I nodded and followed him down a hallway, into one of the rooms. Looking around, I see a black backdrop hung from its metal piece, an almost cliche stool sitting there in front of a trifold. The room had dark oak walls, it looked like an old fashioned rumpus room but converted into a studio. A pin board stood above a desk that matched the wood all around, many pictures and papers pinned and scattered around. On and In the cabinets, where the games and whiskey used to be stored, were old cameras and camera parts. The place was honestly a mess, but Jamison walked over to a filing cabinet, unlocked it, and pulled out that ever so famous camera of his.