So What, I'm A Seal (Book 1)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14

            We ran until 7. By the time I had managed to push the nightmare to the back of my mind, I was drenched in sweat and breathing like I had been running for my life. I glance over at Spade and I notice that while he was breathing as hard as I was, he didn’t have much sweat on him.

            I started to walk back to the cabin and he fell into step with me. “May I ask about what happened this morning?” I heard him but I just kept walking. I wasn’t really sure if I wanted someone to know. He grabbed my arm spinning me around to face him. “You need to talk about it Ace. Trust me, they won’t ever go away.”

            “I…I can’t talk about it right now Henry. But I will promise. Just give me time.” He didn’t say anything and I sprinted to the house. Grabbing a change of clothes, I hop into the shower. The hot water ran over my body as I tried to sort out my thoughts.

            I knew that the feelings I had for Henry were the same I felt for Luke. I sigh as I climb out of the shower. I loved Henry and I didn’t want to lose him. But if I didn’t tell him soon, I would lose him. Henry needed someone to love him back, but he wouldn’t wait forever either. Slipping into my clothes, I walk to the living room with my brush.

            “Henry, do you think you could, brush my hair?” I ask softly holding my brush up. “Sure come here.” I walk over to the couch and hand the brush to him. I sit with my back against the arm rest. While he worked the tangles out, I tried to figure out just how to tell him.

            “The nightmares I have almost every night are missions that were just seconds away from becoming failures. Sometimes my mind will twist them to where my team and I fail and I have to watch as they are slowly killed. After Tech’s death, they became worse. I’m lucky some nights and I won’t have a dream. But most nights end up like this morning. I’ll have a dream and wake up screaming. Then I’ll get up and go for a run.”

            “I always wondered why you were running so early in the morning.”

            “It helps me get the memories out of my mind. And it helps me relax. Before…Before I lost my arm, my nightmares only came whenever we had a close call on the mission, which wasn’t often. Tech and I were always close, but because I was the leader of the team, I felt that it wouldn’t be right to have a relationship, and I thought he only saw me as a friend or little sister, so I made myself see him as an older brother.

            “One night after we got home from a rough mission, the guys and I were at my place drinking when Tech makes a deal with me. If neither of us were married when it was time for one or both of us to die, we’d marry the other. So when Hopper took me to see him at the hospital, Tech asked me to marry him. At that time, I knew that I had some feelings for you, but I wasn’t sure what to make of them and I didn’t know how you felt about me.”

            My hair was almost dry by now, but Henry kept brushing it slowly. “So when he asked, I said yes even though it killed my inside. To my way of thinking, I was giving up all hope that he would pull through like he always did. I’m not sorry for keeping my word to him Henry, however; I am sorry for not telling you myself and for not telling you how I felt. But then everyone, including you and Hopper, started acting weird around me.

            “Then I got shot and had to spend some time in the hospital. By the time I healed enough to get out, I felt so alone and isolated, I needed to get away and clear my mind. I wasn’t sure on where we stood and I was afraid of losing another friend. When I left that note at your house, I planned on leaving town if you didn’t show up within two weeks. And truth be told, if you were just a few hours later, you wouldn’t have found me here.

            “I would have been on my way to see some old friends I made right after I became a Seal. But then you showed up and I changed my plans.” He stopped brushing my hair and sat down in front of me waiting for me to continue. I keep my eyes on my hand. “The feelings I have for you have only gotten stronger. I…I love you Henry and I’m scared of losing you too…” I couldn’t finish the rest of my sentence before his lips crashed onto mine cutting me off.