The lost one. Tord X reader.

Chapter nineteen

Right now I was told to sit down for a minute while this lady known as Kate Church talked with Red.

I sat on top of a medical bed. I dangled my legs as they hovered above the floor.

I don't think I'm injured. Well, my stomach hurts real bad, honestly. Gabe had kneed my stomach pretty hard.

Should I mention my arms?

No.

The room was about the same as the one I hid in when I almost stabbed Red with a scalpel. This one was different. The same but different. Cleaner.

I wonder what happens after this.

What will Red think?

What's Red's real name anyway?

What is he talking about with Kate Church?

What does he think of me now?

I rolled up my sleeves and looked down upon my arm. The scars. I hate them. Why do I do this to myself? Why is this so painful in the end?

It's funny how you always have the urge to cut and in the end, you feel like trash.

Why is it that people do that type of stuff to themselves? The physical pain and mental hurt they feel, it leads people like me to insanity.

Some have it out small. Weak hearted and hurt easy. What if I told you that you were ugly? How bad would you take it? But most importantly how far would you fake it? Would you laugh and say "oh haha! Yeah that's me, ugly as hell!" No. No one should laugh and take your own insecurities as a joke. That's sick and unhealthy. Especially when you take them as a joke.

But what do I know? I'm just the main character. I'm supposed to know nothing.

If a person makes you feel like totally trash, don't be with that person. Either you're in a relationship with them or it's your friends and or family, stop and talk. Make them know how you feel.

I know how you feel. Those tears that go down your eyes. "I'm ugly, hideous, and worthless! I don't wanna do this anymore!" Is what you tell yourself.

Sadness can make you blind to good things. Sadness can sometimes be good. You feel sad, though you should never give up. Do not give up! You don't exactly live life without riddles and hard work. Things in life are hard work. And for you, life is hard work.

You are yourself when you learn to help myself. You'll know who you are when this hard work is done.

Remember that readers.

"You're so much beautiful then you think." I said.

"Excuse me? What was that?"

A voice boomed though the room. I jumped in my spot and shot my head up to the door I didn't know opened. The lady Kate Church was standing there. "Oh s-sorry. I didn't know you came in." I stuttered with nervousness.

She closed the door and walked over to me. "Red leader wants me to see where you are hurt." She said, formally toned and soft voice. "Where are you injured?" She asked, coming near me.

She was now in front of me, waiting for me to answer. She looked me up and down and stopped, eyes going wide.

I realized that she was looking at my arms.

I tried to pull them down with panic but she stopped me by holding my wrist. "Stop." She said. "Don't hide them."

I looked at her with confusion and sorrow. Great, now she knows.