these 4 walls (LM ff)

8

I entered the room of the girls in the hospital like everyday.  Sad as always I sat down on a chair next to Leigh's bed. I looked at her. Her eyes closed, a tube in her nose and the machines next to her what keep her alive. It makes me so sad seeing her and the others like this. And this is all my foult.
If I didn't go to this driver they probably would be here. Or maybe not. Maybe I was also lying there. I took Leighs hand in mine and with thumb I stroke it. I felt a tear rolling down my cheek.

"Girls", I started to talk which sounded more like sobbing., " Just wake up. All I need right now is you. You make my life happier. You're my three best friend what should I do without you? I can't sing on my own. It would be to hard. I need you by my side to support me. Without you I'm a freaking mess. I cry everyday my eyes. I don't even if I have tears left. I also started to...drink. Which I'm not really proud of but it let me forget my pain I'm in...",I sniffed and looked and Leigh's hand which still was in my hand.

And suddenly I felt how she squeezed it. I looked slowly up with hope her eyes would be open. But no their were close.
But why did she squeeze it. Did that mean she heard me?
I let her hand go and looked in her face. It still looks the same. Her mouth a bit open and the tube in her nose. And of course her close eyes. "Leigh?", I sniffed. "D-do y-you h-ear... Me?", I asked and sniffed. She didn't make a move. I sighed. Maybe it was just my imagination. I walked closer to Perrie's bed. I took also a seat next to hear and took her hand in mine. I did this everyday. Going through them, sitting next to them and holding their hands. Yeah, I even talked to them. I don't know but something in my mind told me that they hear me. And I know I can tell them everything. They wouldn't say something. Even if they couldn't do that at the moment.
I looked at Perrie's hand and also stroke hers with my thump. I sighed loud. And cleaned the tears what were coming out of my eyes. I don't usually cry loud. Mostly I cry in silence so that nobody hears me. Just when I'm alone I cry loud bc this crying helps more.

"Girls I-", I was cut off my the door who was swang open. I let Perrie's hand go and looked at the direction. I saw Perrie's boyfriend Alex standing. What is he doing here? OK what should he do here? Visiting her girlfriend maybe Jade.
Fast I stood up. "Hey Jade, are you alright?", he asked. I nodded. "Yeah yeah of course", I lied why should I tell him the truth please. "You sure? You look like you have cried?", he said."I-I... Didn't... I mean I have to go bye", I said under pressure and ran out of the door and maybe let a really confused Alex there. I ran out of the hospital and drove straight home.

I closed the door with my food and threw my shoes in a corner. I took my jacket off and threw in the same corner. Normally I'm a really ordinary person but I didn't care about that anymore. I just wanted that my friends wake up. I walked into the living and let myself fall on the couch. Then I started crying. "I didn't even say goodbye to them. What a horrible friend am I please?", I cried out loud.
This crying lasts for maybe and hour. Then I sat up and turned the TV on. I took a bottle of wine next to me, opend in you drank it empty. It wasn't full guys. It was maybe the half of it. I wanted to open the next one but then my phone rang. I took it in my hands and saw Jeds name on the display. Should I pick up? I mean he will maybe hear that I'm already a bit drunk. I decided to do it.

"Heyy darling, how are you?", he said. I couldn't help but smile a bit.

"Yeah, you know not that fine", I said with a drunk voice.

"Did you drink again?", he asked a bit angry but also worried at the same time.

"No I didn't", I lied.

"ok, I don't really belive you this but I let it slide. Babe, you know the will wake up or?", He said.

"I don't know. But I hope so. I don't know if I just imaged that but I felt how Leigh squeezed my hand today", I said a bit smiling.

"Maybe it was real. And you see they wake up. They just need time. But the reason I'm calling you is that I will come to you tomorrow and I also will stay night ok?", he asked at the end.

"Yup ok", I said smiling. It's just he makes me smile because he is so carrying and I love that side of him.

"OK then bye babe, love you", he said with a kissing noise.

"bye love you too", I said with a kissing noise too. I hung up and pushed the bottle awake.

He is right Jade they will wake up.

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Hey after 100 years I finally updated this story. I hope you like it ❤️