these 4 walls (LM ff)

10

"You really need to stop doing that", he said to me. I came home and he starting to tell me how bad it is to do this. "But it let me forget", I hissed at him. He sighed. 'But there are other ways to do that. Why don't you put your feelings in a song? "" That isn't that easy", I said and looked down on the floor. I sniffed again. He sighed.
"You need help with it?", He asked.
I though about a short moment and nodded at the end. "Then let's eat something and then we start ok?", he asked.
"I'm not hungry", I said.
"Did you eat something today", he asked and I shock my head.
"Then you must be starving", he said with a light chuckle. I shock my head again. "I'm not", I said.
Honestly I didn't eat for a few days now. But he don't have to know that.
"Jade, are you getting relapsed?", u could hear the worry in his voice. I shock my head and sat down on the sofa. "Jade, you need to eat", he said.
I just growled and turned away from him. "Jade, don't be so stubborn", he said and stroke my shoulder. In that moment I turned around and looked at him.
"Just leave me alone",I hissed at him again.
He stood up and walked in the kitchen. I heard him sighing.
And pulled my knees to my chest and looked at black TV in front me what reflected myself. I just looked horrible. I thought I would never saying that to myself anymore but it's just the truth. I started crying again. In silence the tears were rolling down my cheek. I cleaned them away and stood up. "Jed, if you search me. I'm in the bathroom taking a shower", I shouted in the kitchen and walked upstairs. I undressed myself and stepped in the shower. Letting the warm water ran down my body.
After washing myself and looked at white shower wall and started to think.
Why did it happen?
Were they still a bit drunk so they didn't think about going outside?
But why did the go outside of the bus? If they stayed inside the bus nothing would happend? 
I slipped the wall down and pulled my legs to chest and hugged them. The water flow down my body and some tears were leaving my eyes. I sniffed once and stood up. I dryed myself with a towel and put it around my body.
Then I stood in front of the mirror again. A loud sigh left my mouth. And the thought about eating something now doesn't feel right. This is probably really a relapse how Jed called it.

Later we sat in front of each other in the kitchen. During we ate we had a comfortable silence. He was already eating the second plate and I struggled with mine. I ate maybe a quarter of it.
"Jade?", he asked. I hummed as a rispond. "I think you really do relapse", He said.
I shrugged and put another fork in my mouth.
After we ate said down on the sofa and with my laptop in from of us.
"I don't think I'm able doing this", I said.
"Of course you are. Just put your feelings in it", he said and stroke my still wet gear behind my ear. I smiled and started to type.

Maybe 2 hours later we were finish. He helped me a lot with it which I'm thankful. "Thank you babe", I kissed him. He kissed back and smiled:"No problem."
The rest of the day we spend snuggling on the sofa watching Netflix. This really let me forget the things what were happening right now. And he really was always there for me. At about 9pm we went to bed with the reason that I need much sleep.