Life After Azkaban

Sirius realises the feelings

*Sirius's P.O.V*

As I walked onto the train with my best friend James potter aka prongs the anxious feeling I was feeling over the summer holidays was getting worse and I didn't know what to do I hadn't told anyone about it either as we walked into our usual compartment at the back of the train Peter and Remus were already sitting opposite each other as James sat next to Peter I had to sit next to Remus not that I'm complaining Remus was the first to speak as we sat down.

"Hey Prongs hey Padfoot me and Wormtail were just talking about our summer so how was yours"

"Oh mine was good thanks what about you Moony" James said answering first.

"Good What about you Padfoot"

"Same old horrible family but except that fine I guess" I answered.

I wasn't ready to tell them I'd been having weird feelings and besides Moony doesn't need any pressure considering the full moon is a week away and he has been fidgeting beside me like he was in pain and that it was going to be one of the most painful transformations that he's had ever just then I realised that I had zoned out and it was Remus who brought me back to reality.

"Sorry I zoned out what did you want Moons are you in pain" I apologise.

"Yeah I guess I am but that wasn't it we just wanted to know if you were ok you looked kind of pale" he said worried I couldn't believe it.

"Don't worry about me I'm ok you need to focus on the full moon it's in a week" i say trying to convince him.

"Ok then I guess you're right but if you need anything I'm here for you"

He went back to talking to James and Peter and them words hitting me 'I'm here for you' from Remus took me by surprise and I now knew what I was anxious about it was because I had feelings for one of my best friends I couldn't believe it I can't believe it I can't believe I'm gay no I can't be I stood up to leave the compartment I need to think about it and make sure I'm not dreaming.

"Pads where are you going" James asked as I got up.

"To the toilet I'll be back in a minute"

I walked out of the compartment and to the toilets and once I got there I splashed water on my face and no I wasn't dreaming I couldn't believe it I had to deal with this and I didn't know how to without thinking I'm walking again and I end up in front of Lily's compartment her and James are a thing but she is also my friend that helps with stuff that I couldn't tell the others I waved for her to come out and she did I was greatful to have her.

"Hey Sirius what's wrong" she looked concerned.

"Hey umm I need to talk to someone and I can't tell the rest of the marauders so my feet led me here"

"Sure what's wrong"

"I think I might be umm gay"

"I'm guessing your worried about the part who you like am I right"

"Yes and I don't know what I'm gonna do"

"So you haven't told the others"

I shake my head in answer she's so understanding and I like that about her.

"Will you ever tell them your gay"

"Eventually but no way in hell am I letting out who I like"

"Woah calm down ok so can I know who the lucky guy is"

"It's ..... it's"

"Come on you can tell me"

"It's ... umm .... it may or may not be Moony"

I whispered his name not knowing if she heard but as soon I see her shocked face I knew she heard.

"Omg you like Remus"

"Yes now please keep your voice down"

"Sorry ok how to handle this do you know if he's gay"

"He's bi why"

"Ok so maybe you have a chance but until you're ready to tell him keep the feelings low and the week of Christmas don't go near the mistletoe with him"

"Ok thanks lily I'm gonna go back the others now do you need any messages sent to James"

"Uum no but I do have one for Remus"

"Your not gonna tell him are you" I panicked.

"No of course not I also know some of Remus's problems as well as yours so please tell him to meet me in the common room later tonight he'll know what time"

"He tells you problems as well omg is he ok"

"He's fine don't worry and if it helps he asks the same the same about you when I ask him to ask you to meet me"

"Oh ok well I'll tell him thanks again lily"

"Your welcome"

I walked back to the compartment and sat back down next to Remus and turning to him.

"You ok now pads"

"Yea thanks but umm I bumped into miss doctor and she said to meet her in the common room later tonight"

"Oh ok thanks for letting me know"

James didn't know about us going to lily for help so once we knew about each other seeing her which was half way through last year we would call her miss doctor when we were around James and Peter the rest of the trip was just me with my thoughts looking out the window James and Peter talking and my sweet Remus was reading. Half way through the drive I felt something leaning on my shoulder bringing me out of my thoughts I looked down and saw that Remus was falling asleep so cute I guess I didn't mind now that I knew my feelings I just smiled down at him and then went back to my thoughts of what it might be like if we were together.

"Hey Padfoot what's this about" and James pointed at the sleeping Remus.

"I don't know and I don't care considering the full moon is in a week and must be in pain so leave him be I don't mind so don't worry about it"

I defended Remus he would normally be lying against the window but James must have thought something was going on because now since he's lying on me to make him more comfortable I put his head on my lap and before I could pick his feet up and put them up he had already done it he was still asleep though.

"Ok and what's that about"

"Prongs you need to calm down he just wants Moony to be comfortable because of the full moon I know he normally sleeps against the window but also normally there isn't a full moon in a week so he's going to be painful"

"Thanks Wormtail"

And from then we went back to doing whatever
Hours had gone by now there was a teacher like every years going down the train asking friends to wake each other up.

"Right Mr.Black it's time for you to wake Mr.Lupin" and out the teacher went.

I really didn't want to wake him but I had to so we could get off yet again I could carry him yeah I think I will.

"Hey guys can one of you carry my and Moony's bag as well please so I can carry Moony"

"I'll do it I guess but only for Moony"

"Well thanks a lot best friend"

"Ok let's go"

We were the last ones of the train so no other students would ask questions about me holding Remus before going to the great hall we went to our dorms so I could put Moony to bed and so James could put mine and his trunk away and Peter put his and Remus's away then us three left to the great hall.