Idiotic Mistakes (Zarry Mpreg)

I'm clearly not enough..

It had been three weeks since their son graced their lives with his adorable presence. Honestly Harry was in absolute bliss, he loved every single aspect of being a father. Even the sleepless nights and never ending nappy changes. Zayn however, felt as though he was the worst dad in the history of the universe.

He loves his baby... at least he thinks he does. Alfie was his son, his own flesh and blood .. but he just couldn't find the energy or the strength to comfort him and support him. So far Harry had been the one to get up in the night, the one to feed him, the one to bathe him ... Zayn was missing out on everything but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't bring himself to man up.

"Z, me and Gem are heading out for a bit ! You want to come?" Harry asked, poking his head in their bedroom.

Zayn was just sat, eyes locked on their sons sleeping form. Silent , face slack , not a single expression appearing as he tried his best to feel something ... anything. God what was wrong with him.

"Erm nah, I'll stay ere' take the baby though.. please." Zayn muttered.

"He's asleep Zayn, I'm not waking him up to take him out for an hour." Harry stated.

"Why not? He'll just fall back asleep in the carseat." The younger teen said, turning away to look out the window.

Harry sighed, he didn't know what the hell was going on in his boyfriends head. It had been like this since the first night Alfie came home. Zayn had spent days thinking he wasn't enough, ranting about how he couldn't even stop his own baby crying. Anne had warned Harry that if things got worse, it could be a sign of post-natal depression... but he didn't want to believe that. There was a chance that Zayn could just be feeling a little low, the baby blues as they say. It didn't have to be that bad, not yet!

"I'm not taking Alfie, he has a few bottles in the fridge, you know what to do. I won't be long." Harry told him , walking over to kiss his cheek.

"Hmm." Zayn hummed , not bothering to look up as Harry slowly walked away. Trying to ignore the shaky sigh his boyfriend let slip past his lips.

Why couldn't he just get over this? Why was he putting all of this on Harry?

He just felt sick with guilt all day , everyday. So far that had been the only true emotion his mind had allowed him to feel. It was like he was void.

"I love you babe." Harry said once he got to the door.

"I know." Zayn breathed, turning to smile softly... even though he knew by not saying it back he was hurting Harry in and unimaginable way.

"Wow okay..." Harry piped, walking out of the room and down the stairs. Trying his best to swallow the pain building in his chest.

"Hazza?" Gemma said, slowly approaching her brother as he stormed around the living room.

"I don't know what's wrong with him! Why can't he just grow the fuck up and be a dad huh?! Why is it always on me?! He just asked me to take the baby! The baby! His name is Alfie! And he's his son too! His newborn son! We are going out and I'm switching my phone off! He can take care of our baby alone for once! I've had to do it!"  Harry snapped, making sure Zayn heard every word.

"Harry, that's not fair... he's just struggling right now." Gemma protested.

"What?! And I'm not?! I haven't slept for weeks! He has! I haven't had a single second to my self! He hasn't held Alfie in over a week! Poor baby doesn't even know who his Dede is! It's ridiculous! He needs to snap out of this! Or accept some help!" Harry insisted, hands grabbing his keys from the shelf.