Back to December

Prologue

Glancing through the café's window, I catch sight of James staring down at his phone nervously, he looks up and slowely blinks his eyes while taking in a deep breath. At this point he still hasn't seen me yet.

I can't believe that he actually came, after everything I did, he is more then I have ever deserved.

I decide its now or never and push open the door to the little cafe near his flat, what used to be our flat. I originally asked him to meet me at Carlo's, the little patisserie only doors down from the flat but he said he couldn't do that, I think it brings back to many memories. Good memories not bad. Everything that has happened in that patisserie has forever a place in my heart, the first time we met, winter coffees, summer frappés, beautiful hugs and gorgeous smiles, I can never forget that place and I hope that he can still smile at some of the magic we shared there.

The little bell chimes as I step through the doorway, I see James head immediately snap around to where I am standing.

I suddenly become emotionless, I am not prepared for this, at all. The look of both relief and disappointment that passes his face saddens me but the look of pain and emptiness in his eyes kills me.

He gives me a small, sad smile and without my brains instructions my legs begin to take me to his table where I take a seat opposite James.

"Hi," he says softly, briefly making eye contact before taking a menu from its stand. My heart just melted, he was so perfect and I was so stupid.

"I am so glad you made time to see me, how's life?" I ask trying to break the silence.

He slowly looks up at me with his gorgeous blue eyes, my god. He hesitates before answering.

"I've been good, busier than ever. I actually have missed the last few weeks of school, I've, uhh, been travelling a little, looking into colleges, I actually got offered a place at umm Vanderbilt, Mississippi, Texas and Oregon State, yeah, so I just am trying to find the best place for me but I, uhh, the ahh, Mariners... they umm offered me a place." He says, nodding quickly with pressed lips.

I couldn't believe it, how could I not have known? James' baseball, I haven't been to a game in months. I mean he got offered a spot to play for Seattle, that's huge. I missed that, I wasn't there to congratulate him, I should have been there!

I then come to my senses and remember that I broke up with him, why would he tell me? This is amazing, I am so happy for him. I am speechless, how am I supposed too reply that?

"C-con-congratulations?" I choke.

"Thanks," he shrugs, giving me a small smile. Wait a smile? He smiled, I forgot how much my heart melted every time he does that. Snap out of it Candice, YOU ended it not HIM.

"So tell me, how is your family, your mom, Poppy? I haven't seen them in a while," I ask. It has been a while, since Christmas of 2013. 9 long months ago, the night you gave me roses and I left them there to die.

"Yeah my sister ended up getting that job at the law firm and so now Poppy can finish up her degree and I guess as you can imagine my mom was over the moon excited for her, mum retired like I think she told last year." He says but I can tell he is a little anxious.

We small talk for a little longer, work and the weather but his guard is up and I know why, because the last time he saw me is still burned in the back of his mind.

I just hope he realizes that this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of him saying sorry for that night, it turned out freedom made nothing but missing you , wishing I had realized what I had when you were mine and I go back to December turn around and change my own mind,
Because I go back to December all the time.